Awakening
by Otaku Sage of Llamas
Summary: Waking up in the Abyss universe, Lia is confused as everyone is convinced that she's a dude and more importantly, how does she get back home? *Check profile for status updates*
1. Ch 1: Brave New World

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Also, she does not claim the Wizard of Oz, Klondike Bars, Shenmue, Tales of Destiny, Energizer Bunny, and etc…

**Summary**: In all honestly, I don't know how to describe this fic. And really, I don't know why I am posting this. I hope you enjoy it but also feel free to dislike it, though please be polite about it.

**Warnings**: None really, except for the presence of an OC, the authoress' first attempt at writing in first person perspective, and the authoress' sad attempt at writing (that includes her horrible grammer).

**Genre**: Humor/Drama

**Pairings**: none, though there might be hints at the "canon" pairings

**Rating**: T

**Authoress' Other Notes**: Being that this is first person perspective, it should be noted that the narration may be **unreliable** as the story is being told from the OC's perspective (with the exception of the italicized segments). In addition, the characters' dialogue isn't going to be exactly like the game script for certain reasons pertaining to future plot points in this fic, which also applies to other things like why there is not going to be a language barrier between the OC and the Tales of cast.

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**Awakening**

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**_Lost in the daily grind of life, one may start to lose sight of the borderline between reality and the land of our daydreams. Sometimes, reality becomes too hard to handle so we retreat into the sanctuary within our minds, distancing ourselves from the world that our body actually resides in. But, how long should we stay there, shielded from reality? At what point do we lose sight of what is real and what is not?_

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**Chapter 1: Brave New World**

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I stared out the window, the foul odor permeating through the interior of the bus no longer fazed me, chanting a mantra of success to myself as I mentally prepared myself for my oral interview.

My hands tightened its grip over the pants to my suit, a red undershirt and a yellow tie covered by a black jacket, that I received from my neighbor. Fragments of my Dist cosplay, I chuckled.

The odd looks sent at me no longer bothered me. It is not that strange for a woman to be wearing a suit in this day and age.

In an attempt to calm my mind, I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.

And for the first time, I fell asleep on the bus.

* * *

"Sir, are you okay?" a soothing female voice called out to me.

Upon opening my eyes, I did not realize that I was no longer on the bus until a gust of wind passed through my hair. Then I felt the earth covered with grass and flowers underneath my resting body.

Indeed, I am no longer in Kansas, Dorothy.

And hello…where am I exactly?

I looked at the girl that awoke me from my sleep and blinked.

Tear?…As in, from my favorite RPG game, Tales of the Abyss?

No, this can't be possible. I must be hallucinating.

"I'm fine, thank you," I quickly put on a mask that I learned to use so well after living with some untrustworthy people. I reached my hand to hold my head.

"Did you hurt your head?"

"No, I'm just confused on how I got here…"

"Amnesia?" Tear offered in confusion. I looked away and finally noticed Luke's passed out body.

Ah, the hyper resonance the in Tataroo Valley. That explains their presence here but what about me? Tear walked over to Luke and woke him up as I sat there in deep thought over my predicament.

"Where the hell are we? This isn't the manor and why were you trying to kill Master Van?" Luke shouted. Man, this reminds me how much I wanted to slap Luke for being so whiny before the scene where he cuts his hair. Honestly, PMSing much? I sigh as I stand up and take in the beauty of the landscape before me.

"And who's he?" he pointed at me. Yet another one fooled. Although standing at 5'7", I have a plump body and a light patch of facial hair above my lip due to a medical condition. I ran a hand through my medium length dark brown locks and looked at him through my thick framed glasses.

"I'm Emilio," I gave a false name and sniggered mentally. Though with the hair and glasses, I resemble Hugo more than Lion but they aren't going to know any better.

"I'm Tear and this is Luke," I smiled and shook her hand.

"What are you doing here anyways?" Luke demanded.

Keep sarcastic remarks to self…don't ruin your first impression by flying off the handle…

"I am not sure myself," I replied in a mysterious voice.

"Are you crazy or something?" Tear jabbed Luke in the side at that remark.

"Emilio has a little bit of amnesia and it's a serious matter," she scolded him like a little boy who put their hand in the cookie jar. But cookies are so tasty!

No, focus at the task at hand, girl! Ha, no wonder why I am so scatterbrained.

"Would you mind if I traveled with you?" I can't defend myself so I am not going to wander around Auldrant trying to find a way back home alone. I would get injured easily.

"I don't mind," Tear said as Luke shrugged whatever.

"Thanks, you're a cutie," I teased, causing the seventh fonist to blush. I have no shame.

"C'mon, let's get out of here!" Luke impatiently said, starting to walk without us.

"Yes, o fearless leader.~" Luke growled as we headed off.

"Best be careful, there are monsters around," Tear warned as I debated what to do. I could either stand to the side looking like a jerk or try fighting to end up looking like an idiot. I mean, I am unarmed and can't use fonic artes so I am basically useless in battle.

I know how to use a bow and arrow from doing archery in P.E. and in addition to that, I doubt that playing Shenmue would count as knowing anything about martial arts. With my weight, I could easily overpower anyone smaller than myself but I would be helpless against someone like Largo, that man is a powerhouse.

"Tch. I know what to do! Master Van taught me how to use a sword. I would be more concerned about Emilio," Luke taunted and I wasn't going to dignify him with a response. Though, 'oh Luke, I didn't know that you cared' was tempting.

"You're so insensitive!"

"As fantastic as this conversation is, I regret to inform you that there is a monster waiting behind that bush getting ready to strike," playing video games had really helped me to develop good observation skills. Or so my dad said. I could tell from the shape that it was a Filifolia, a rather weak monster but even still I couldn't do anything, not even use a lighter to set it on fire.

What can I say, I go to a university full of arsonists. Fire is always the first option for us.

It charged at us bravely but Luke took it down easily with his wooden practice sword. Afterwards he said, "Geez, can't you do anything?"

"I'm sorry that I pursue more intellectual activities," I replied sarcastically. Ah, Jade would be so proud if he were here at this moment. I pushed up my glasses, not with the middle finger like the colonel because I would break out into laughter.

"You're unarmed?" Tear asked seriously in concern. I nodded in affirmation.

"I'm just a civilian. Unfortunately, I don't have any military training or the like," besides I wouldn't last a day in boot camp. I could just picture myself breaking down into tears within the first hour. Despite my masculine front, I reluctantly admit that I have a sensitive side, which I try to hide but it typically find its way out anyways.

I continued to walk behind Tear as we approached the carriage driver, leaving Luke and Tear to handle the monsters.

"You're me-members of the Dark Wings!" the carriage driver stuttered.

This is bad. I can't tell the driver that I'm not a guy after Tear and Luke already believe me to be one. Though, shame on them for assuming! Anyways, that would be awkward, not that it isn't going to be when they eventually find out since nothing ever goes right for me.

"If I recall correctly, the Dark Wings is led by a woman with pink hair named Noir. And really, how could you tell without any proof to back your claim?" I tried to reason.

"Yeah, I just want to return to the capital," Luke says in his whiny voice.

"Sure, but it's going to cost you."

"What? I don't have money on me but my father can play when we get to the capital."

"No, that's not good enough," Tear sighed and removed her mother's pendant and handed it over. I felt bad letting Tear do it knowing that it held special meaning to her.

"That should be fine instead, right?"

"Yes…" the carriage driver gawked at the beautiful necklace

"Right this way," I sat myself next to Tear, across from Luke.

"Man, I can't wait to get back to the manor," Luke stretched while I took in the beautiful scenery. I would love to see Grand Chokmah with all the water flowing everywhere as it was my favorite city in the game next to Keterburg. Then I noticed the Tartarus in the distance and I wasn't alone.

"Wow, what's that?" Luke pressed his face against the window like a young child. Well, granted, he is mentally…

"Ah, that's Malkuth's land vessel, the Tartarus." The carriage the Tartarus was chasing came into view and crossed the bridge we just came across. Our driver narrowly avoided collision with the massive landship as the Dark Wings blew up the bridge.

"Wait, you mean that we aren't in Kimlasca?" Luke said as I sighed. Poor sheltered Luke.

"No, I am headed towards Grand Chokmah. Are you citizens of Kimlasca?"

"No, we'ew merchants from Chesedonia that were going to do some trade in Baticul," Tear covered up before Luke spilled that he's the son of a Kimlascan duke.

"Sorry but with the bridge's destruction, you won't be able to get there. I can drop you off here or at Engeve."

"We can walk," Luke suggested and I wanted to smack him. Dude, what is your problem? I don't do well in warm weather, especially with this black suit.

"I don't understand what's going on…" Luke said as we were walking.

"Are you that ignorant? War is about to break out between Malkuth and Kimlasca," Tear started to explain but I paid no attention as sweat poured down my face. That's it, I am buying new clothes when we get to Engeve.

"Why?"

"The Score…" I said bitterly, shocking Tear a bit. Oh, how I hated the idea of being chained to a certain fate and unable to change it. Tear filled Luke on the rest as we approached Engeve.

"Finally!" I cheered, getting down to my knees and kissing the dirt covered earth at the entrance to the village.

"Man, it's not that hot out," Luke gave me an odd look. Well, sorry for being a creature of the cold.

"Let's get a room for the night," I suggested but when we saw the crowed around the entrance of the inn, we decided to come back later after wandering about the village for a while. First, I stopped at a clothes stall in the market area and bought a sky blue yukata-like garment.

"I want to change into this right away so I will go back and see if the inn is clear now," Tear nodded at my request to go ahead. Thankfully, I had no problems getting inside the inn.

Inside the bathroom, I took off my suit so that only my tank top and boxers remained on and put on the pseudo-yukata. Smiling in the mirror at my reflection, I tied my hair up into a ponytail before returning to the inn's reception area to wait for Tear and Luke to come back.

Anise popped in after a few minutes asking the owner about Ion when Luke and Tear finally returned from Rose's house, or at least I reasoned as the excuse for their delay.

"The Fon Master is in Rose's house," Tear offered to Anise, who ran off smiling.

"Geez, I was getting worried that you two ran off and had some fun without me!" I joked as I walked towards them.

"You're disgusting!" Luke scowled, causing me to chuckle.

"Nothing of the sort. Luke got arrested for stealing an apple," Tear explained. Ha, instead of a Klondike Bar, it should be, 'what would you do for an apple?' Yup, that was totally cheesy.

"I want to go to those woods and track those beasts down!" My, what a nice way to address sacred animals.

"Huh?" I played dumb.

"Luke was also blamed for stealing food from the storehouse, though it turns out to be the doing of the Cheagles," Tear crossed her arms, obviously annoyed with Luke.

"Must be some desperate Cheagles since they normally keep to themselves," the fonist nodded in agreement.

"I want to go now!" Luke whined some more.

"How about at least resting first and go out in the morning? I'm tired from the walk here." Yeah, not everyone is the Energizer Bunny. Though my leg muscles had built up from walking about campus, that meant nothing in the heat. Granted, it wasn't that warm but my body still couldn't stand it.

"Fine," Luke reluctantly agreed, "so how many rooms did you get?"

"Well, I only had enough money for two…" and it finally dawned onto me that I would have to share a room with Luke. Oh dear, this is going to be very awkward. I hope he doesn't sleep in the nude. That would be a visual overload, not in a good way either.

Tear settled down in her own private room as Luke and I decided who got which bed. I offered to take the one next to the window and Luke had no complaints. Thankfully, Luke only removed his white jacket, leaving on his black tank top, and he kept his pants on to bed.

I left my yukata on because it would become very obvious that I am girl with just my tank top. Mine aren't melons like Tear's but I wasn't flat either.

I crawled into bed and shut my eyes, worrying about how to get back home. If I managed to arrive in Auldrant then there must be some way back to earth…I hope.

I guess I will just go wandering around Auldrant with Luke and Tear for now…

* * *

_Dream for now, little one…but know this, one day you will be forced to face reality again. So, for now you can stay here, until you can find your strength to face the cruel unforgiving world waiting for you. And please, do not forget yourself, for if you get too caught up within this dream world, then you will lose yourself… _

…_Do you understand what you must do now?_


	2. Ch 2: Dreams and Fleeting Memories

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Also, she does not claim the Yumedono Kannon, Sands of Destruction, Pinocchio, Xena: The Warrior Princess, Pokemon, and etc…

**Authoress' Other Notes**: Thanks go to Random Reviewer for your constructive criticism. It was certainly helpful in writing this chapter. There will be some tidbits of Lia/Emilio's background in this chapter, though the rest will be spread out through the fic like puzzle pieces. She certainly doesn't reveal all of her thoughts easily…

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**Awakening**

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_We all carry regret within our hearts at some point in time in our life. However, we should not feel the need for remorse. For if it was not for that particular course of action, then we would not be the same as we are today. Yet we feel obligated to do so, even if we had little control over the outcome born from our regretted action. _

_It is not just one tree falling alone in the woods, the ground shakes beneath it as the leaves and grass bend to its weight as it lands onto the soft earth. _

_No action is completely isolated from another._

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**Chapter 2: Dreams and Fleeting Memories**

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_It was the first day of tenth grade and I sat on the floor of the band room, observing the disarray of chairs, stands, and students gathered around in the crammed space. The former band director had left to continue his education but I did not like his replacement one bit._

_My mom told me the stories from the kids from my school, that worked under her supervision in the hospital kitchen, and the aura he held did not appear friendly either._

_I went through enough drama with the middle school band director wanting the bad players to fake it at the competitions and I don't want any more drama like that._

_I'm sick of the drama…and being picked on all the time for being different._

_I sighed as I made my decision to quit band. Hopefully, I could find another elective that would fit into the same time slot since band was held at an odd hour schedule-wise. _

_I picked up my flute case and left the band room for the guidance office. I glanced at the opening into the auditorium as I passed by, empty as usual. The gym doors were closed but I could easily hear the rustling of feet in fast movement and the dribbling of a ball to know that they were playing basketball._

_The receptionist at the guidance office greeted me with a smile as I asked about the availability of my counselor. He was free so I headed down the hallway past several other doors until I reached his office._

"_Hello Lia, how can I help you today?" he said with an air of familiarity._

_Unfortunately, the only other offered class at that same time was choir. The choir director is really nice from what I have heard and welcomes anyone into her choir but I can't sing a tune to save my life._

_That was the last day I held my flute in my hands. From that day on, it became a lost relic hidden within the depths of my dresser, forgotten and left to rust away. _

_A hidden image like the Yumedono Kannon, located a mile east of Horyuji temple, shielded from observing eyes for centuries until its existence was brought to life in more recent times, but unlike that sacred image, over time that flute became a reminder of my regret._

_And the words of justification that I once uttered to a friend: "Is it an act of a coward to leave something in order to save it?"_

_No, I was a coward._

_I didn't save it at; all I did was cause myself even more misery. _

_No longer would I make music to soothe my soul. What remained was art, something I failed at despite my aspirations, and video games, to send my mind into another world._

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_

_By time I entered my second year at college, I had cut ties with all the people that I had once considered my "friends" in high school. They knew of my asocial tendencies and, while I acknowledge my own fault, they didn't seem to care as we grew out of touch._

_I wish that I could blame the actual physical distance between us but I knew it wasn't the case._

_I surprisingly shed no tears over the lost friendship. Somehow, I had grew indifferent to twelve years of memories together._

_Maybe…it was my resentment towards my own childhood._

_No one liked me because I was fat, asocial, and weird based on my interest in Japan and how I held little for American pop culture. Starting in elementary school, I was constantly bullied about my weight and I gave up on revenge after being punished for taking justice into my own hands, which apparently my anger had been misguided for I was later informed that the comments were directed at my friend rather than myself._

_When I got into high school, I could not wait until the moment that I graduated. Things improved little but not by much. No, I still had to deal with a friend's psycho ex-boyfriend with serious issues, an uncontrollable anime club with no maturity whatsoever led by the previously mentioned psycho as dictator, and no one taking me seriously because I purposely pushed people away by acting dumb at times._

_And now I am struggling with being a Japanese major at a well known university._

_It is still an emotional roller coaster but at least I'm happy…_

_That didn't sound convincing, did it?_

_

* * *

_

"_How long will she be like this?" I distantly heard a man ask in my now pitch black dream. _

_How strange…I normally see figures of people in my dreams._

"_I'm sorry, sir, but I don't know. The trauma was severe and…" I heard another male voice start to respond before it faded out._

_

* * *

_

When I woke up after my unwanted trip down memory lane, Luke was not in his bed and I briefly wondered where he went before the sound of water running in the attached bathroom finally registered in my ears. I quietly made both of our beds as Luke was too lazy to do so since the maids would always take care of it for him at the manor. Not that I ever made my bed at home since I didn't see the point in doing it but I wanted to be nice to the inn staff.

Suddenly, I heard the door open and Luke came out with only a towel around his waist. Dude, couldn't you have changed in the bathroom! I blushed and looked away becoming very uncomfortable.

"Hey, I'm done with the shower," I took that as my cue, never minding Luke's confused gaze, and rushed into the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and resting my head against it to take a deep breath.

After calming myself down, I savored the feel of the water running over my tired body. Ah, it was paradise. Not quite like Amida's Western Paradise but it felt close to it.

Tear and Luke were ready to go to the Cheagle Woods by time I emerged fully clothed out of the bathroom.

"About time!" Luke complained.

"Hmm?" I blinked.

"You were in there for an hour! What the heck were you doing!" he said obviously annoyed and Tear blushed a scarlet red. Of course, being the naïve idiot he is, Luke would not get the implication there. Tear's reaction surprised me though, I did not think of her as one to have dirty thoughts as I saw her more as an innocent priestess-like figure.

"I was purifying myself thoroughly," I joked but it only confused him more. Though, Tear was intrigued.

"I noticed that you are not a follower of the Score."

"Yeah," I'm not sure if I like where this conversation is going. Religion is not something that I am really comfortable with, which is why I considered myself agnostic. I am open to hearing about anyone's views but I detest it when a certain doctrine of beliefs is shoved down my throat as the only true one and any others are false. You don't have to like other religious traditions but you should still be able to respect them and in way understand their beliefs for what they are on their own terms.

That's just me though, people are entitled to their own opinions.

"Purification is not a practice connected with the Score but I have heard about it in some cults," Wait, what? So, from a simple comment relating to Shinto, Tear thinks I'm some cult follower?

Umm…I don't remember anything about cults when I played this game!

"Cults?" Luke asked. I could hug him for saving me from a very awkward response. Now, I have to think of yet another lie.

"Small groups with sometimes radical beliefs that focus on a singular deity or figure," she briefly explained. First thing that pops into my mind is how Julius Caesar was so amazing that he was even the leader of his own cult.

Ah, this isn't the time for classical nerd mode.

"I guess…" I laughed nervously as Tear's eyes bore into mine. Geez, she could be intimidating at times.

"So, are you part of a cult?" Luke insisted.

"Just some small Mt. Roneal cult…" I don't know if this will work…

"Mt. Roneal?"

"It's near Keterburg. Our main deity is Nebilim, bringer of destruction," Oh, dear, this lie is horrible. At least Jade isn't here to voice any objections since I named the replica of his professor as the deity. This is so going to backfire eventually…

Tear's eyes widened in shock. Really now? The Score that Yulia foretold isn't all happy rainbows and flowers either with all the death it mentions. Oh wait, they don't know that yet…

Ops…

"What? You guys want to destroy the world?" No, Luke, I am not a member of the World Destruction Committee. Though, you should talk to your precious Master Van about that.

"Not exactly," I shook my head, "the destroyer annihilated the world once for us to start anew onto it in order to follow a path that does not revisit the way to destruction."

"How interesting…but how is purification related?" Tear asked, genuinely interested about my made-up cult.

"It's a long story…" I lied as I scratched the back of my head. I don't know how to answer that one yet.

"Oh…are you from Keterburg? Sorry, I was just curious since you hadn't mentioned it when we met," It is a good thing that I am not a wooden doll named Pinocchio or my nose would be ten feet long by now.

How do I get myself into these sorts of things?

Amnesia can't be used as an excuse because unlike how amnesia is depicted in the movies, you either lose your past memories up until a certain point (not all memories necessarily) or are unable to gain new memories. A combination of both is unlikely or so I vaguely remembered from my psychology class that I took as a freshman.

Then again, my mind can get fuzzy on information that I have not looked over for a couple of years so I could be wrong.

So thus, in Tear's mind, I should still know who I am despite my inability to recall of how I appeared in Tataroo Valley.

Let's see…what excuse can I make up about not wanting to bring up my "hometown"…?

"Yeah, well…I kinda ran away from home," I chuckled nervously as Tear gaped.

"Why would you do that?" Luke spoke up, reminding me of his presence.

"Well, in Malkuth, everyone is expected to be able to use fonic artes and since I can't, I am considered a failure to everybody…" At least that is partially true…and it brings up my inability to use fonic artes.

"It must be rough, not able to reach everyone's expectations. But you can't just live to please everybody else," as Tear said those words, something in me cracked and I cried.

Not once in my life had I been truly proud of myself. It always felt like my efforts were not enough to satisfy others and despite that, I would pretend that nothing was wrong in front of them.

Just crack a smile and make a joke, tears are a sign of weakness.

Yet, on the inside, it was driving me insane holding these feelings in all the time. I didn't want to become a burden by revealing those thoughts to anybody.

And after every time I would break down in silence, I would vow to become stronger, but it never happened despite any heartfelt intentions.

I have to change…so I can rid myself of this fake smile and truly be happy as myself for once.

Tear hugged me and she let me finish crying on her shoulder until I calmed back down. When I finally removed my head from her shoulder, I apologized for making her clothes wet with my tears. Ha, I cried on a person named Tear.

"Let's go to Cheagle Woods then!" I smiled, wiping the rest of my tears away.

I will travel with them for now until I find out how I got here and figure a way back home. Maybe on the way, I will get stronger as well.

As we left Engeve, Tear handed me a staff, saying that she bought it for me before Luke got arrested.

"I know that you're not a fighter but you should at least be able to defend yourself," I thanked her and gripped the staff, which was made of wood with delicate and intricate carvings on it, with my right hand. So, this must be how Gabrielle felt in the beginning of her journey with Xena.

"C'mon," Luke urged us to hurry.

* * *

"Achoo!" I sneezed as soon as we entered the woods.

"You are going to alert all the monster of our presence if you keep that up," Luke complained.

"I can't help it, I'm allergic to pollen."

"Will you be okay?" Tear asked in concern over my health.

"Except for the sneezing and the runny nose, I will be fine," I gripped my staff tighter when I heard growling in the distance.

But then, bright light caught me off guard until I realized it was Fon Master Ion using his Daathic artes as we got closer.

"Fon Master, are you alright?" Tear leaned towards Ion, who was hunched over the ground panting heavily.

"I just used a high level Daathic arte and my body isn't used to it," the Fon Master explained.

"Why are you out in the woods? It's too dangerous for you," My, Tear would make a fine mother with her caring nature.

"I wanted to investigate why the Cheagles are stealing food."

"You too, huh…" I said.

"Hmm?" Ion blinked innocently. Aww, I just wanted to pinch his cheeks because he is way too cute.

"Luke wanted to get back at them since he was framed for stealing food."

"Ah yes, I remember you. Your name means 'Light of the Sacred Flame' in Ispanian," he told Luke, not that it meant much to him right now, "and you are?"

"I'm Locrian Sergeant Tear Grants."

"Oh, you're Van's sister," he realized.

"Wait, you're Van's sister! Then why were you trying to kill him?" Luke freaked out. It's because he's an evil nut job with weird eyebrows that remind me of a penguin.

And I named one of my pokemon in Pokemon White after him. Actually, I have a theme going on this time where I am using character names from Tales of the Abyss to name my pokemon. My fire starter that looks like a pig is ironically named Peony.

"What's going on between the two of you?" Tear tensed up at Ion's question.

"I rather not talk about it…"

"Alright, what about you?" Ion turned his attention to me, catching me a bit off guard.

"Just some weirdo named Emilio," Luke supplied.

"I will take that as a compliment," I replied, unfazed by his words.

"Hmm…interesting name," he replied mysteriously. Did he see through my lie or something because Ion's response seemed strange to me.

"Why don't you come along with us, Fon Master?" Tear politely offered.

"Alright," he smiled and we start walking onwards again to track down the Cheagles' hideout.

* * *

_Why is it that happiness comes hand in hand with sorrow? _

_Why is it that we would not know what happiness is if it were not for sorrow's existence?_

_Take this heart of mine and split it in half._

_Will the one half continue to beat without the other one?_


	3. Ch 3: Chains of Doubt and Hesitation

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: I understand that it might possibly be frustrating with how weak Lia is at the moment in the story as she is unable to defend herself at all and misses out on some of the action. Please just bear with it, it will all change in the next chapter or so with some drastic twists (hohoho~). And remember to keep in mind that all is not what it seems, everything happens for a reason.

Again, thanks go to Random Reviewer for your kind words (I don't want to reveal anything yet but yes, your guess is indeed quite correct) and everyone else that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

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**Awakening**

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_Life is a constant game of survival._

_Should we take the life of another to save our own?_

_Neither choice is easy to make, yet,_

_we are forced to arrive at one when the time calls for it._

_Is it pure selfishness to save our own life and_

_Is it pure selflessness to ensure the welfare of others?_

_Even the well intended option can have negative consequences._

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**Chapter 3: Chains of Doubt and Hesitation**

"Over there!" I pointed at a Cheagle hiding behind the bushes. It looked like one of the younger ones and had pink fur. Upon hearing my voice, the Cheagle got scared and ran off towards their hideout.

"Right," Luke growled as he took care of yet another liger with Tear's assistance as Ion and I stayed in the rear.

"Damn it, why are there so many of them?"

"Stay focused!" Tear shouted at Luke as a second liger ran past him and towards the Fon Master and I. Gripping the dead center of my staff, I used all of my strength to strike the liger's head with the end. It fell back for a moment growling viciously before lunging forward to sink its teeth into my shoulder.

Instinctively, I closed my eyes and pushed it away from my body, causing it to fall again before Luke finally killed the monster with his sword.

"Emilio!" Tear casted First Aid as I stood there shocked, my legs shaking beneath me.

I couldn't feel anything…

There was no pain, even before Tear used her healing spell…just numbness.

How was that possible? My breaths became rapid as I started to have an anxiety attack.

Am I losing my own humanity?

"Emilio, calm down," I felt hands grab onto my shoulders, trying to stop me from dropping to the ground. Which is not fun by the way. I am reluctant to admit that I have experience with that…

I opened my eyes finally and met with the soft sea green eyes of the party's healer.

"You're alive, you're going to be fine," That is not why I'm panicking. Something is seriously wrong with me.

Maybe for now, at least, I should keep this information to myself because I do not want to become an even bigger burden to them

"Thanks," I said in a soft voice that I usually use when I'm upset or depressed. My dad always says that he could tell my mood just by hearing the tone of my voice. Not that Tear and the others knew me well enough to tell.

Twenty minutes later, we finally arrived at the base of the massive tree that the Cheagles took up residence within. Ion picked up an apple that laid on the grass.

"This is definitely from Engeve," the Fon Master said after examining the seal on the fruit.

"Hmm…they do live in tree trunks," he explained, looking up at the huge tree before walking inside calmly.

"Fon Master, that's dangerous!" Tear said, running after him. Luke and I stared at each other for a moment before heading inside as well.

Several Cheagles were blocking Ion from proceeding any further while he pleaded with them to let him through.

"Are you crazy? They're not going to understand a word that you're saying," Luke commented.

"I've been told that Yulia made a pact with the Cheagles for their aid," as soon as the Fon Master said that, the Cheagle Elder appeared holding the Sorcerer's Ring and ordered the others to stand aside, or so I assumed as they moved out of the way after the Elder spoke.

"Are you children of Yulia Jue?" the Elder spoke and everyone was surprised, except for me. Though, I was mildly surprised as I realized that the Elder's voice really was female.

"Whoa, it talked!" Luke exclaimed and I face palmed at his bluntness.

"The power of this ring from the pact with Yulia allows us to communicate with you. Are you children of Yulia Jue?" the Cheagle Elder insisted.

"Yes, I'm Fon Master Ion from the Order of Lorelei. Am I correct to assume that you are the leader?" Ion said politely.

"Indeed."

"So you monsters did steal the food from Engeve, right?" I groaned at Luke's rudeness towards the Elder. Way to make a first impression on the leader of the Cheagles, creatures sacred to the Order.

"You've come to exterminate us, then?" I jabbed Luke in the stomach to prevent him from responding.

"Why do you need to steal food if you're herbivores?" Ion continued, not acknowledging Luke's words.

"To ensure the survival of our tribe."

"Why? There's more than enough vegetation here," Tear stated.

"One of the young ones accidentally started a fire in the north, which caused the ligers to move here to use us as their food."

"What if we negotiate with the ligers?" Ion offered to the Elder.

"What? Are they going to understand us, too?" Of course not, even in this world, creatures cannot talk without help of magical means or the like.

"No, but we could use one of the Cheagles as a translator…"

"Alright," the Elder nodded before calling a small blue Cheagle over.

"This child was responsible for the fire and to whom I will lend this ring to."

"I'm Mieu. It's nice to meet you," he said in that high pitched voice of his that drove Luke and myself nuts. It was almost as bad as the guy that decided to tune a piano before my art history class started in an hour. After fifteen minutes, he kept pressing down on the same high note key, which caused my ears to scream, almost as if someone scratched a chalkboard with their nails. It was so annoying that I left the room and returned a couple minutes before class started.

"You're annoying…" Luke complained. Like you're one to talk. Mieu apologized and I zoned out as Luke continued to rant. We exited the tree and Mieu excitedly showed us his fire breathing abilities.

Tear's voice brought me back to reality, "Maybe you should wait for us here, Emilio."

So…I'm just a burden after all. Ion can't fight either but he's an important person as the Fon Master.

I'm just a nobody…a dead weight.

Even Mieu is more useful than me…

"Alright," I put on that fake smile, "Good luck!"

After they faded from view, I reentered the tree and climbed up the slope to use one of the exits that led to a tree branch. I sat down and let my legs fall over to hang in the air.

Trying to prevent tears from falling, I closed my eyes and hummed one of my favorite Japanese songs. When I finished, I opened my eyes to discover that the one green patch of vegetation that laid next to my hand had turned brown and died.

"Wha-what?" I blinked.

"Mieu," I turned my head and saw that a couple of Cheagles had joined my side and appeared to be crying. How did my humming have that much of an effect? I know that I can't sing but this is extreme…

"So there is someone up here," I heard a very familiar male voice say. Looking up, I saw long sandy brown hair and glasses covering vivid red eyes. What, why is Jade here?

Oh yeah, I guess he's looking for Ion and heard me up here while passing through the woods.

I turned my head and looked down as he commented, "my, I was aware that the seventh fonon could heal things but I did not realize that the opposite was true as well."

Wait, are you implying that I killed the vegetation with my humming? No way.

"I'm not a seventh fonist," I responded blandly.

"Oh, then what about the seventh fonons that have gathered around your body from your humming?" he said in that sarcastic teasing voice of his.

"Huh?" I said dumbly as I looked more carefully around me and finally noticed several dark transparent blue orbs.

One of the Cheagles, the pink one from earlier I noted, rubbed its cheek against my leg, like a cat, trying to comfort me. Absent mindedly, I patted it on the head, which pleased it judging on the odd purrs emitting from its mouth.

"Anyways, have you seen the Fon Master around here?"

"He's heading for the Liger Queen's den," Jade's eyebrows raised but otherwise masked his surprise well.

"Thank you, sir," the colonel turned around and left. You too, Jade? And here I thought that you would be one of the people to realize that I'm a girl.

Regardless, it shouldn't be possible for me to use any fonic artes. Then again, I don't know anything anymore.

I was spirited away from home into my favorite video game, am completely helpless in battle, can't experience any pain, and now I can apparently use the seventh fonon.

Or at least, the negative aspect of it. It reminds me of how my professor for my Roman Civilization class had explained the attributes of the gods and goddess as being over both the good and negative aspects. For instance, Jupiter might use his control over the weather to bring rain to land that desperately needs the water to make crops grow or use it to dry the land and starve the inhabitants.

Being mistaken for a guy didn't rank that high on the list. It stopped bothering me after a while.

Gently grabbing the friendly pink Cheagle into my arms and stood up to take shelter from the sun inside the tree. I found a place to lay down and take a nap cuddling the Cheagle within my arms.

* * *

"_Honestly, I can't believe that she brought her friend here," I heard my mother complain to me as I fussed with the end of my dress. I hated dresses but I had nothing else that was nice for the occasion. We sat in the parlor room of the funeral home while the body of my grandfather laid in the neighboring viewing hall. _

_Apparently, my younger cousin had brought one of her friends in tow, which my mother saw as completely inappropriate._

"_Some people handle death differently," I passively responded, not really caring about my cousin's actions. It's not like she was my responsibility._

"_They have been shielding her from these things for most of her life. And then people wonder as to why their children grow up and can't handle the passing of loved ones. You can't hide from it forever. That's why we brought you to funerals and viewings since you were a baby," she started to rant._

_As a mere baby, I was brought to my other grandfather's funeral and almost brought everyone to tears as I innocently blew kisses and waved good bye to him as we passed the casket, unaware at the time of what was really happening. I don't have much recollection of that moment, just stories I heard from my parents, but I do remember other times while I was younger and brought to a funeral home whether it be family, friends of family, or even teachers of mine._

_Despite seeming finality of death, I believe that a part of the person's spirit remain behind on this world within ourselves. Almost like the ancient Chinese belief of two souls that one remains with the body and another proceeds onto the afterlife. A dual spirit that starts as one and eventually separates to two divergent paths upon death._

_At least, that's how I have been able to cope with the losses over the years._

_

* * *

_

"_Is there any hope?" Hello, shadow figures again. I wish that you were not so mysterious._

"_Well, there is a slight chance since there is some activity going on within the brain. Yet, that is not a guarantee…"_

_

* * *

_

"Mieu mieu mieu," I heard being spoken into my ear, causing me to wake up. Looking at my left side, I saw the Cheagle bouncing up and down.

"Hmm…?" I muttered, still in a half-asleep trance.

"Emilio," I heard Tear call me.

"Oh? You're back already? How did it go with the ligers?" I smiled as I rose to my feet and stretched, noticing that Jade was accompanying them. Mieu's ears fell, sad at remembering the liger queen's death.

"We had no choice but to fight as the queen was unwilling to cooperate as her eggs were about to hatch," I nodded silently.

"It was still cruel," Luke commented, still horrified about destroying the eggs.

"Memento mori," I blurted out and I almost smacked myself.

"What the heck did you say?" It wasn't just Luke, everyone else was confused as well.

"It can be translated a number of ways: 'remember that one day you will die' or 'remember that you are mortal'," I explained, recalling my four years of Latin from high school. Though, I have gotten rusty despite somehow placing into the second part of beginner's Latin for the upcoming semester, after a three year gap of not looking at the language and taking Japanese in the meantime. Anyways, translations are always iffy.

"What a pessimistc way to look at it," Jade pushed up his glasses. I shrugged, deciding not comment.

The group had already reported the situation to the Cheagle Elder so we headed for the entrance of the woods, with just Jade and I knowing that Anise and the Malkuth forces would be waiting to take us onto the Tartarus.

* * *

_The sinking earth beneath my feet, _

_the only escape is by the outreached hands of those that have reached stable ground. _

_However, try as I might, I cannot find the strength to grasp a hold of that hand as I fall further into the depths of the earth._

_What to do? _

_Shall I give up any hope for survival and just accept my fate or struggle onwards to possibly arrive at the same conclusion?_


	4. Ch 4: Hopeless

_**Disclaimer**__: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. _

_**Additional Warnings**__: nondescript torture (upping rating to M just in case)_

_**Authoress' Other Notes**__: Sorry for taking so long to update but I had been dealing with a small bout of depression and I was staffing all four days of a con. Anyways, so, the start of a chain of drastic events commences in this chapter (though doesn't end here). I'm actually kind of nervous about this chapter as Lia's/Emilio's path diverges from the party for a while, however not for too long. You'll see what I mean eventually._

_Again, thanks go to Random Reviewer for your kind words again (no, it's not bad, part of it was supposed to be funny), Starkitty for your constructive criticism, and everyone else that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me. _

* * *

_**Awakening**_

* * *

_What reason is there for our existence upon this planet?_

_That's the question that everyone debates over._

_Lost in a barren desert, we struggle to find an oasis,_

_A sanctuary from the brutal wasteland._

_Deluded and misguided, when will we find our escape out of the desert?_

_Or are we doomed to wander aimlessly for the rest of time?_

* * *

**Chapter 4: Hopeless**

* * *

"Oh look, there's Anise," Ion commented and my insides started panicking as we reached the edge of the forest. The forest was so dense with trees, that it was nearly impossible to spot the sun from the ground beneath the tree tops, and thus very little sunlight penetrated down to us.

However, as we approached the exit, it became brighter and brighter, illuminating the colorful array of flowers and bushes that were so exotic to me as I have not seen any like that back home. Name any color of the rainbow and there would be a plant matching that shade perfectly. My favorite from the Cheagle Woods was a pale pink flower were purple dots scattered across its petals.

Anise beamed at the sight of the Fon Master and ran over with some soldiers following behind her. The light reflecting off of their armor gave off a bit of a glare, causing me to squint my eyes as spending so much time in the woods made me sensitive to the light, more so than I usually am. I actually preferred darkness, not that it was pitch black here since sunlight was still able to sneak in a bit here.

"Hello there, how's the Tartarus?" Jade greeted, smirking in the way that I was too familiar with. The soldiers saluted him with respect as Anise gave her report to the colonel.

"Right next to the woods just like you wanted.~"

"Hey, what's with this?" Luke scowled as the soldiers surrounded the three of us on all sides.

"Arrest those two. They were the ones responsible for the hyper resonance," Jade commanded to the soldiers, who loyally obeyed.

"Why me?" I shouted when I was grabbed as well by the arms, the soldier twisted my hands behind my back and tied them with rope.

"Oh, just for precautionary measures," I am not buying that excuse and the light bouncing off his glasses did not help either.

"Jade. Please don't hurt them," Ion pleaded as we were dragged onto the Tartarus. We were taken to the same residential room as the video game, seated at a table with Tear between Luke and I. Ion, Anise, and Jade stood across from us.

The quarters were as clean and organized as it was in the game. There were two sets of bunk beds, all of which had their sheets made properly. Metal comprised the entire vessel framework and I could hear a faint metallic sound, possibly from the engine room or such, as the Tartarus moved across the land slowly.

There was an occasional bump that the Tartarus glided over on the surface of the earth as terrain, regardless of where it is, is never perfect and flat but it only rocked us a tiny bit like a very minor earthquake. It was not enough vibration to make us fall from our seats.

"Now, the two of you illegally crossed the borders via hyperresonance, which could be considered an act of aggression against Malkuth. However, first, I believe that you haven't properly introduced yourselves yet," the colonel pushed up his glasses. Dude, that's even more creepy when you are actually there in person.

"I'm aware that Tear is a member of the Oracle Knights but you two are?" Jade looked at Luke and I, causing us to exchange glances with the other.

"I'm Luke fon Fabre, the one that you guys tried to kidnap," Luke scowled as I remained quiet.

"Oh? That must make you the son of the duke that married into the Kimlascan royal family," Anise's face brightened as Jade revealed that.

"However, why are you in Malkuth? And also, I'm not aware of any such unpleasant kidnapping."

"I wasn't aware that Luke was a seventh fonist and our fonons caused a hypersonic, causing us to land in Tataroo Valley. It was no act of aggression by House Fabre," Tear explained.

"Alright, but how about you and how are you involved with these two?" Jade turned his attention to me.

Oh crap…

"I'm Emilio, a Malkuth citizen, and just encountered them at Tataroo Valley," I half-lied. It's not like they had a computer database of names so how would he knew if I wasn't a civilian of Malkuth?

"Location of residence?"

"Keterburg," I answered reluctantly. I couldn't change it after I made that huge lie to Luke and Tear. His face remained neutral but I could tell a slight movement in his facial expression.

"This is a long way from Keterburg," he commented suspiciously.

"Jade, Emilio is just an innocent bystander," Ion spoke on my behalf. Aww, he's so sweet.

"Hmm, very well. Then you are free to leave," What? Wait a minute…

I can't defend myself so how am I supposed to find a way home alone!

"We'll drop you off at Engeve," This shouldn't be happening. Everything is going by too fast to keep up with and process into my brain.

"Wait, what about me!" Luke threw a fit like the spoiled brat he is.

"You are a separate matter," Jade answered vaguely. I guess he doesn't want a "civilian" like me to know about the details about the war brewing and their attempts at peace.

"I have an issue to address you in private that is not the concern of a mere civilian."

"Well, sorry for being ordinary," I replied sarcastically as my mood turned sour, glaring right at the colonel.

"Oh, he's a feisty one, colonel.~" Anise teased.

"Indeed. Now, Anise, will you watch these two as I escort Mr. Emilio off the Tartarus?" Anise saluted him as Jade led me through the corridors silently, with the exception of his tall boots clanking on the metal flooring.

Reaching the exit, a soldier handed me my small bundle of belongings, which for right now was the intricately engraved staff, some gald, and a few apple gels that I found in the woods.

"Thanks," I mumbled to the soldier, who nodded in return. When I turned, I saw Jade staring intently at me. His crimson eyes really were unnerving.

"Do I have something on my face?" Nice Emilio is on vacation right now and I doubt that he will return anytime soon.

"No, there's just something peculiar about you and I can't point my finger at it yet," he held his chin in thought. Oh, like how I make a very effeminate dude?

"So says the Necromancer," I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Watch it or I will arrest you for harassing a military officer," and with his tone of voice, I couldn't tell whether he was serious or not.

Without exchanging any more words, I departed from the Tartartus and returned to Engeve. It took me about thirty minutes, though thankfully there was a nice wind breeze going to keep me cool. I plopped myself on top of an old tree stump near the market area and rested my head on my arms.

I could hear multiple voices conversing with one another, although nothing was distinguishable enough to make sense of the conversations, from the market as it was busy with activity. However, the smell of freshly baked apple pies and freshly caught fish permeated its way until it reach my nose, causing my stomach to growl at me in hunger.

Hunger aside, how do I proceed from here? So far, I've had no clues about my arrival here and how to go back.

Will I ever see my parents and friends again? My body shook uncontrollably as I cried, uncaring of the looks I received from passerbys.

When I exhausted all my tears, I raised my head and almost shouted. There was Van talking, near the fish vendor next to the meat counter, to Sync and Dist! The other God Generals were not present and I presume that they were probably on the Tartarus by now.

Suddenly, thoughts entered my head about Akzeriuth and the countless people that will die there. Here I have this knowledge of what is yet to unfold but could I do anything to stop it?

Raising to my feet, I slowly made my way towards the trio as thousands of panicked, scattered thoughts ran through my head.

Within the haze, I took notice of the butcher's knife lying on the stall of the meat vendor. When the vendor turned his back to rummage through a box on the ground, perhaps grabbing a hold of more stock to place on his table, I swiftly grabbed the knife and lunged at Van with it.

It was a stupid move really. Most people would probably call it suicidal as no one would put their bets on a combat inexperienced girl defeating a very experienced man that was raised to be a knight. I had a better chance if I kicked him in the balls.

Unsurprisingly, Van dodged my desperate blow, grabbing my wrist that held the knife twisting it as he moved behind me to turn the blade at my throat.

"Commandant, are you alright?" Sync asked while Dist remained quiet, not that he cared much about Van's wellbeing or so I imagined based on his actions late in the game. Really, he just used Van as a means to try to obtain the professor's replica data and he could care less about Van's goals.

"I'm fine," he grunted and I could feel the vibrations from his throat right behind my ear. I'm not really comfortable with how close he is standing to me but that should really be the least of my worries.

"Now, what were your intentions? Do you have some grudge against the Order of Lorelei?" Not really, just you and your evil goatee. I struggled in his hold, which made him press the knife harder, starting to actually cut into my pale skin. Again, I could feel some odd sensation of where the cut is but there still was no pain.

"I won't sit by idly as you sacrifice countless of innocent people!" Tears poured down my face yet again. Even if I am to die here, then at least it would honorable.

At least…I tried to change something, even though I failed. I can't remain weak and pathetic forever. Always depending on others to fight my own battles.

No…that ends here.

"What do you know?" he demanded harshly as the knife faltered a bit. I bit down on my tongue before I responded with something I would regret.

"There's a crowd of observers forming," Dist commented.

"Fine," Van lowered the knife and dragged me off towards the inn for a more private interrogation. Sync stood watch outside the door of the room while I was tied to a chair. Van paced around me, playing with the knife in his hands, as Dist took a seat on the bed, searching through my sparse possessions.

"Now, tell me," he threatened and when I did not comply, he started sadistically cutting me with the knife. Even though I had no pain to deal with, I cannot stand seeing copious amounts of blood like this. Television and animated gore did not bother me much bit something so real as this did.

Blood completely covered my vision as I quickly fainted, losing consciousness.

* * *

_Two guards led me through the hallways of some sort of hospital or insane asylum. I shuddered at the thought of the last option. The air conditioner was loud and running, chilling my white gown covered body as we proceeded through a dimly illuminated tile hallway. Despite the darkness hovering across the corridors, I could see that dirt covered the walls and floors, clearly there were no housekeeping crew here._

_My mind shifted back to the guards, where exactly are they taking me? Why am I here? What is this place? A thousand more questions plagued my mind._

"_Here ya go," I heard one of the burly men grunted in a thick accent as the other opened a metal door and shoved me into a room. The light blinded me temporarily as my eyesight adjusted to the brightly lit room._

_However, it appeared that I was not alone. This was someone's office. A lady, dressed in a crimson suit, smiled at me cruelly as she rose up from the seat of her desk, books and papers neatly organized on top of it, and ushered me to lay on the couch beside her desk. _

_As I opened my mouth to protest, with inhuman strength, she tossed me onto the couch with a loud thud as my back collided with the cushion, my back screaming at me in intense pain._

_Her hands wrapped around my neck, her long fingernails digging marks into my skin, as she whispered into my ear, "You have no choice in the matter. You belong to us now and I will not let you ruin years of precious research!"_

"_Where are my parents?" I demanded as a nasty grin covered her face._

"_You are considered dead to the world. That doctor was so easily bribed to let us take your body to use for scientific research since he thought that you would never regain consciousness. Though, it turns out that we were both wrong. Regardless, your parents were informed that you passed away one night," she chuckled as a look of absolute horror and fear crossed my face._

"_There's no escape!" she laughed manically and I shivered as it resounded through the rest of the office. Please just let this be a horrible dream…_

* * *

"_Don't you have dreams? Something worth living for?" Ophelia, named after the character from Shakespeare's play Hamlet, asked me, leaning against a railing looking over the water on a pier. There was nothing else but for the endless ocean and the pier that we stood on._

_Hmm…that's…this is definitely not real. This is one of the characters that I sketched and made up, I realized. Her long midnight black hair with distinctive bangs, that almost resembled the claw-like bangs used in ancient Roman sculpture to depict Augustus, and piercing light purple eyes._

"_I don't know. I'm still trying to discover myself," I replied._

"_Just because you had a couple of set backs, don't give up. I know that there's something meant for you."_

"_Right," I said unconvinced. I am still baffled that I am having a conversation with a character that I made up._

"_Don't look so down. Everything happens for a reason," she reassured me._

"_Mmhmm…"_

"_Just hang in there, alright? The world works in mysterious ways…" Ophelia stood up straight from leaning on the rail to rest her head against mine smiling._

* * *

When I regained consciousness, I was no longer bound to the chair but lying on the inn bed. As I moved around waking from my sleep, I felt somebody sit down on the bed cleaning my head with a wet cloth. I could smell a hint of a rose-like perfume.

"My, you have such a strong will to live," Dist said softly, washing the blood off of me. His white gloves were off, laying on the nightstand next to the lamp, exposing dark purple nail polish matching his lipstick.

"You don't have to worry, Van is done with his little temper tantrum for now. Though, I must say that you were rather clever in concealing your gender," My body tensed and sensing my reaction, Dist stopped cleaning my body.

"What…?"

"There's nothing to be concerned about. Except for making Sync carry you to the bed, no one laid a hand on you while unconscious," he reassured me, yet, he did not explain how he discovered my gender.

Why him, when everyone else has been so blind? I sat straight up, staring at the effeminate God General at eye level. His skin was just as pale as my own and his red eyes, emphasized by long eyelashes, were not as intimidating as Jade's, actually they were soft despite the harsh exterior he put on.

"Though, I'm afraid that I had to divulge that information to Van. I don't know what he has planned for you but he wants you alive."

"And if I try to escape?" I looked at the door that stood fifteen feet away from the foot of the bed. There was no concern of outrunning Dist as you always see him in the game riding on his floating chair so I presume that he is not the athletic type but the issue is who would be waiting outside of that door.

"Certain death, unfortunately, for a pretty lass like you," he replied grimly.

"Then, I will take my chances," I rose out of the soft bed and the God General could only state at me as if I grew another head.

* * *

_The cage door creaks open slowly. Flap your wings, little birdie, and find your freedom._

_Even if your wings have yet to ripen into maturity, give it your all._

_We all die sometime in this life…_

…_and wouldn't it be better to die attempting to seek freedom than,_

_remaining trapped within your prison?_


	5. Ch 5: Hidden Doorway

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.

**Additional Warnings**: There's a couple of naughty words. Please don't take offense, I don't like the "f" word myself but there are people that do say it.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: The condition that Lia mentions and has does exist, it's called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS for short). Also, don't expect another update this month, because I am so overwhelmed with the end of semester college stuff, rather sometime in May will be more realistic.

Again, thanks go to my friend who is reading this (you know who you are), it's your wonderful feedback in our conversations that helps give me the will to continue writing this, and everyone else that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_Bound and blind within a dark tower room. Immobile as the voice taunts, "free yourself"._

_With the closing of the iron door, I move my hands to struggle against the bonds to discover that the rope is loose already and with my hands, the blindfold slips off easily._

_How long have I been free? And how long have I been blinded to it?_

_I rush towards the door, pulling on the handle but it will not budge, and hear that voice again,_

"_Don't be so deceived. You created this prison yourself, shunning away the rest of the world."_

_What world, I reply carelessly and the voice laughs._

* * *

**Chapter 5: Hidden Doorway**

* * *

Before I could move, the door opened and there stood Van, making me feel like a kid that was caught doing something inappropriate. In his hands, he held a pile of clothing.

"Change into this," he tossed them at me, landing on top of my head. Dist took that as his cue to leave but Van remained standing there.

"Are you a pervert? Get out!" I screamed, blushing madly. He grunted and followed my request but I could tell that he was leaning against the other side of the door. He's way too creepy.

I removed the yukata-like garment that I had taken a liking to and folded it to place onto the sheets of the bed. Then, unraveling the clothes that Van gave me with my hands, I examined it before I dared to put it on my body.

The sleeves of the top were wide like the pseudo-yukata with a "v" shaped neck, the zipper starting at the bottom of the "v" and extended down until the fabric parted ways at the groin in the opposite way as the ends parted out in a way that resembled feathers hanging from the bottom. The fabric was midnight black with a red trim. Accompanying the top was a red ruffled skirt that would reach my knees.

I groaned as I put it on, not wanting to wear a skirt but I doubt that I had any choice. Once finished, I knocked on the door letting Van know that I was done. Opening the door, he leered at me as he looked from head to toe and I suddenly became self-conscious. I glared at him as I pulled my skirt down as far as possible.

"What do you want?" I blurted out, tired of him looking at me like that.

"I need a spy to make sure my plans go through accordingly. After we rendezvous with the group, you will join them and keep track of their actions and ultimately report it back to me," he explained.

"What group?" Don't tell me that he's referring to Luke and the others. I'm sure that would fail for multiple reasons, such as the fact that they have already met "Emilio" and how would changing clothes alone deceive them?

Besides, isn't Anise a spy? …Wait, does Van even know about that? There always seemed to be some level of mistrust going on between Van and Mohs in the game…

"You don't need to know the details right now. First, you obviously need to go through intense combat training or at least a basic crash course and a makeover if you are to be of any use," Dist took the opportunity to reenter the room, now carrying a small pink purse. Do I want to even ask?

"What are you doing?" I screamed as I was dragged off into the bathroom by the God General, though Van followed with an amused look on his face as he stood in the doorway observing. The toilet seat was pushed down and I was forced to sit on top of it as Dist sat his purse on the sink counter, opening the zipper to grab various cosmetic products and scatter them across the sink.

"First things first," he commented in that flamboyant voice of his as he pulled out a rectangular white strip that I immediately recognized as wax.

"No!" I protested as I hated the feel of the wax ripping hair forcibly off my skin.

"C'mon, what kind of girl has a moustache?" One that has messed up hormones obviously. It's not my fault that I have elevated levels of male hormones but rather it's part of the stupid disorder that I inherited from my mother.

Then Dist looked down at my legs with a disgusted look, "you need to shave those too."

"You're just jealous that I have more facial hair than you," I teased as I crossed my legs. I didn't care how many people I grossed out with my legs. I stopped seeing the point in shaving because a couple days after shaving, thanks to my messed up hormones, they would be hairy all over again and I don't have the time to shave twice a week. However, I did do my armpits because it did drive me nuts if they were too hairy.

The God General's face turned sour as if someone just fed him a lemon and I could hear a deep chuckling sound coming from Van's direction.

"Oh please, hun," he finally replied as he grinned while leaning over to line the wax along my upper lip. Yet as Dist ripped the wax strip off quickly, I didn't howl in pain like I normally did when my mother did so while cursing her in various tongues. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the not-feeling pain thingy as my mind has been preoccupied with other matters.

"There, nice smooth skin," the God General smiled in accomplishment as he ran his one index finger along my upper lip to make sure that he didn't miss any hairs.

"Now…" Dist mumbled as he gently pulled off my glasses off my face and placed it onto the sink counter. I blinked as my vision adjusted from seeing distinct, clear figures to fuzzy blobs.

"Hmm…I'm jealous that you have naturally long eyelashes."

Once Dist was finished using make up to transform me into a more "proper woman", Van left to take care of some things as I walked around with the effeminate God General around Engeve as it was still daylight and we weren't setting out towards Kaitzur until nighttime. The market was still bustling with activity despite the small size of the village or perhaps there were a lot of people visiting from other parts of Malkuth.

Surprisingly, Dist's chair was left behind at the inn with Sync, who I have yet to really see much of or interact with, as he took a nap, and walked beside me on his own two feet. However, I came to a stop at the wooden fence enclosing the rappigs, leaning over the fence to pet them.

Despite their pig-like shape and appearance, their fur was as soft as a rabbit. The one became pretty attached to me, leaning its head against me in a plea for me to continue petting. From the mud put the rappigs had to play in within the fence, their feet was covered in mud and smelled like the earth itself.

The playful rappigs got mud prints on the ends of my top as they leaned their front hooves against me, though, I didn't care much and I secretly hoped that Van would take offense. Though, I really should not be trying to purposely anger him since he could easily take my life.

The smell was refreshing and was nothing like the strong odor of horse manure that I would encounter out in the Amish country. However, that natural fragrance was soon overpowered by the distinct reek of alcohol.

Turning my head slightly to the right, I saw an obese drunk man exchanging some words with Dist. I gasped when I saw the man grab him by his pale white hair with seemingly unnatural pink highlights, lifting his frail body off the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled, twisting my body around to face the drunk man.

"This faggot deserves to die!" What the hell? Despite my predicament, I wanted to help the God General because he has been nothing but kind to me. But I'm unarmed…

With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I lifted my leg up, successfully avoiding Dist's body, which was easy since he's so skinny, and kicked the man in the groin. He growled, tossing Dist to the side like a rag doll as he hunched forward in pain.

"You bitch!" the drunk cursed at me, turning his attention away from the God General. Oh great, what am I going to do now? I closed my eyes trying to collect my thoughts as he approached me slowly, hindered from the intense pain I inflicted.

Cheagle Woods…I killed some of the vegetation on the tree with my humming. But I do not want to kill anybody and what if someone else gets hurt as well? Before, I had no control over the target.

Is it worth the chance…?

Desperately, I hummed a song from the back of my head and when I heard a loud thud with the earth shaking beside my feet, I forced myself to open my eyes. The burly man laid on his back, his hands wrapped around his own throat as if he was suffocating.

Concerned, I briefly glanced at Dist, whose eyes were wide in shock but otherwise seemed to be alright considering. Sighing in relief, I turned my gaze back at the drunk man whose face had turned blue and his eyes were now lifeless.

No…I didn't want this to happen. My hands trembled as I tried to cover my face and from the loud whispers that I started hearing, the incident had drawn in a large crowd.

"She used the seventh fonon to…!" one man muttered in a low voice.

"Hey," I heard Dist whisper into my ear, finally rising from the ground. When I didn't respond, I felt him place some sort of fabric on top of my head covering my face. Moving my hands out of the way, I discovered that he had used his own suit jacket that he was wearing as he held me by the shoulders and guided me towards the inn, totally ignoring the group of onlookers.

Finally reaching the sanctuary of the inn room, I removed the jacket and held it in my hands as Sync rose up suddenly from the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. So, he does not sleep with his mask on. He stared at me as he took notice of my puffy red eyes.

"Geez, what have you two been doing? You look like someone broke your favorite toy," Sync joked cruelly and I was too shaken up to glare at him.

This place is nuts, nothing like the game I played. Is the perspective we were given of this universe in the game really this misguided and deceiving? We experienced the universe solely through the eyes of Luke and the other party members without much insight into Van and the God Generals. Such a limited scope of a very large picture.

…Only fragments of an expansive puzzle.

"Honestly, don't you remember the first time that you killed?" in reaction to Dist's defense of me, Sync let out a dark laugh.

"So, you've lost your blood innocence? Big deal, get over yourself."

"How can you say that so casually!" I shouted.

"You know nothing!" Sync extended his gloved hand as if he was going to slap me but froze when I heard the inn door behind me creak open, the old rusty hinges protesting with a loud squeak.

"What is the meaning of this?" I heard Van's gruff voice say.

"Commandant…" the failed Fon Master replica mumbled as his hand dropped down to his side like a wounded puppy. Van, it isn't nice of you to kick puppies…

"I expected more from you than to be incited by this child," the disappointment was clearly laced in his tone as I was unable to read his face as he stood out of my sight behind me.

"Hey, I'm no child! I'm twenty years old, soon to be twenty one!" I crossed my arms, turning to face the commandant.

"Anyways, Sync and Dist, it's time for you two to catch up with the others at St. Binah," Van ordered, ignoring my rant. Sync retrieved his mask placing it back on as I handed Dist back his jacket and then the two departed, leaving me alone with Van. The last thing that I wanted to happen.

"We need to make haste to Kaitzur. Are you able to ride a horse?" Well, I can but I have little experience, except for the time I was little with my dad visiting a friend down in the south. We went horseback riding on a trail through dense woods and since I was young and my first time on horseback, I clung tightly to the reins, fearful that I was going to fall off as I was alone on the saddle as my dad and his friend were on two other horses.

"I guess so," I mumbled, not wanting to share a horse with Van.

"Right," he replied and I followed him out of the inn where two beautiful enormous horse stood. The one was midnight black as the other complimented it with untainted white hair and mane.

Van easily got up on the saddle of the one that I immediately nicknamed Raven and I was left to get on Shizuka. I hope the horse did not already have names because I suddenly came up with some on the spot since I'm strange like that. I tried to jump up onto the saddle and fell back down onto the ground on my rear cursing.

"Do you need help?" Van chuckled, taking delight in my suffering. And here I thought Jade was the only sadist here…

With determination to not fail again, I managed to struggle my way onto the saddle. I probably looked like a worm trying to climb up a tree trunk with the way I flailed about.

"Sorry about that Shizuka," I patted the patient horse by the mane.

"Shizuka?" Van asked, giving me a perplexed look.

"Well, unless Shizuka is a guy and he will have to settle for a girly name but I'm no horse expert so I can't tell the sex of a horse," Shizuka followed Raven without much direction from me as we headed towards Kaitzur. I was surprised that Van never asked me what happened between Sync and me, unless he does not care and I am not going to willingly divulge that information...

We didn't stop much, except to use the bathroom which consisted of finding a nice set of bushes and trees to take care of business and it was very awkward, enough said. Since timing was important, I was forced to eat and sleep on the horse and, from what I observed, Van had not slept at all as I observed the sun rise then fall again along the journey. I guess one of the perks of my "condition" was that my rear was not killing me like it's supposed to after sitting for so long on the rough leather saddle.

Though, Van did stop for a moment to kill a rabbit for food since we ran out of food supplies and I was appalled to have to resort to eating such a cute, innocent creature. After all, I used to have a pet rabbit that I got in kindergarten for twelve years and would never think of eating him, despite my father's jokes about having rabbit stew for dinner.

That's why Jade's sarcasm did not faze me much because my father is just like him in personality. Always playing cruel jokes on me as a child, such as the time that he took one of my plushies from me and hid it outside or Christmas day when he hid my presents all over the house, including the inside of the oven. And because I grew up with this, it did not make me upset but rather laugh.

Teasing is just another way to express love for somebody, despite how unusual it seems.

Van and I did not talk much, except for him informing me that he was going to give me basic training once we arrived in Kaitzur. Not that I was surprised about the commandant's unwillingness to talk with me, he probably only truly had conversations with his most trusted and reliable companions like Legretta or even Guy at one time.

I could tell from my experience playing the game that Largo, Sync, and Arietta were very loyal to Van but in the end, they all were just simple chess pieces in his game. However, Asch and Dist were loose cannons for their own reasons. I'm not sure what initially caused Asch's mistrust of the commandant, though perhaps it involved his replica, and Dist is too caught up in his own goals to resurrect the golden past rather than care either way.

And despite what anyone else though, I never considered Van and the God Generals to truly be evil. I'm not making light of the horrible things that they have done but as much as I wanted to hate Van, I realized that while his methods are misguided and cruel, his intentions are good.

The world is not simply white or black, it's a lot of gray. And I would not consider myself to be good either. Even though I have not committed any crimes in my life, I have been horrible to other people.

Scratch that, I just killed someone with the negative seventh fonon. I really should not use it, who knows who would get hurt next.

I held no remorse for my actions and I'm just waiting for karma to come back like a boomerang.

And now, I wonder, is this my punishment?

Maybe, I am not meant to return home…

* * *

"_Open your eyes," the voice suggests from behind the iron door of my prison._

_But they are open, I insist pounding my fists against the door._

"_Not nearly enough if you've not yet realized that this was never a prison, except that you made it one in your mind."_

_Hearing those words, I blink as the stone walls fall down, turning liquidly as it splatters onto the ground like fallen paint, revealing a new scenery of trees and blooming floors in a field._

_My…my world has been so small until now._


	6. Ch 6: Deception

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Also, Pirates of the Caribbean belong to Disney and others…

**Additional Warnings**: a couple of naughty words

**Authoress' Other Notes**: The semester is over and I am settled back home, reunited with my beloved consoles. Though, ironically, with all the free time that I have now, I haven't had much time to write. In spite of that, I am determined to see this to the end no matter what as I have seven other plot bunnies that are begging me to write about them.

Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

"_My lady, may I have this dance?" a random gentleman asks me in the masked ball and reluctantly I accept his extended hand._

_After he entertains me with a dance, he is entranced by the beautiful exterior presented by my mask and dress and he leans in to remove the mask blocking him from gracing me with a kiss._

"_Beware," I grab his wrist, preventing it from removing the offending object._

"_Why, my lady?"_

"_You will not like what lies underneath…" I warn him yet he disregards my words and tosses the mask onto the floor. Finally gazing upon my true face, he screams and faints onto the floor, the thud echoing through the ballroom._

"_See, my puppet, no one wants you for the monstrosity that you are…" he glides to my side, grasping my chin in his hand like a lover. His other arm wraps around my waist._

"_Don't fool yourself into believing otherwise…" he whispers into my ear._

* * *

**Chapter 6: Deception**

* * *

By time we reached Kaitzur, I was exhausted and could see the dark bags forming underneath Van's eyes. As I jumped off the saddle, I suddenly remembered that the Kimlasca-Malkuth border was here and I do not have a passport in this world so that could pose a bit of a problem.

"Umm…Van…I don't have a passport," I figured it would be best to be honest for now.

"We're not crossing the border yet and, besides, I had one doctored up for you," he tossed me a small red booklet, which I managed to clumsily catch. Opening the cover, I looked to see what information he used. There was my hair color, eye color, height, weight (how did he get that!), and it listed me as a Malkuth citizen but the spot for my name and occupation was blank.

"Just pick a name and write it down. It's a tradition of joining the Oracle Knights."

"Huh?" I asked confused. I'm no Oracle Knight.

"Upon entering the Oracle Knights, a person cuts ties with their birth name and pick a new one. No one is knowledgeable of your birth name except for your close family and friends," Van explained and it made sense in a way. The commandant is always called Van and not Vandesdelca, unless it's Tear or Guy.

"Sometimes, people just shorten their birth name," Van added as an afterthought.

"Hmm…" I uttered as I wrote down 'Lia' for my first name. When I was done, Van tossed me a wooden sword, like the one that Luke used in the beginning of the game, catching me off guard. Behind the item shop, there was a small clear field that Van saw perfect for sword training. He had stripped off his commandant outfit so that he was just in pants and a tank top.

"Show me how you hold a sword," he commanded and I gripped the practice sword like a baseball bat, chuckling nervously.

"No good, your form is bad," Van shook his head and stroke his goatee in thought. Geez, I just wanted to rest properly in a nice comfortable bed and furthermore, I don't want to hurt people.

"I know how to use a bow and arrow," I sighed as I admitted this and Van took off telling me to wait here as he went and bought me one. I took the opportunity and laid back on the soft grassy earth, staring up at the clouds in the sky. Entranced by the fluffy shapes of the clouds, I fell asleep.

* * *

_I was standing inside a dark room with no visible exits or windows dimly illuminated by an overhead light bulb that swung back and forth, without the assistance of any sort of wind or breeze. _

_Standing before me was a short elderly woman with short curly brown hair and something finally clicked in my mind that recognized her as my grandmother based on the image I have seen of her in photos._

"_Have you come for me?" I asked terrified._

"_You have bypassed death once but how much longer can you escape from it? With even deceiving yourself, you will not halt it, child."_

"_Why must it be now? I have yet to experience all the wonders of the world beyond the realm of college."_

"_Death shows no compassion for anybody. Young or old, it does not matter. And really, what is the point of living when you haven't been living recently?"_

* * *

I was rudely awaken by water being splashed onto my face, gasping as the freezing water sent chills down my body. Van stood there holding a bucket in his hand.

"I trust you had a nice nap?" I groaned, goose bumps along my body from head to toe due to the eerie dream.

"Get up, we have no time, they are here," he gruffly muttered, throwing the bow and quiver filled with arrows on top of my chest. Grunting, I rose to my feet strapping the bow and quiver onto my back before I followed twenty feet behind him. I took a step back when he suddenly blocked Asch's lunge at Luke.

"What are you doing? I gave you no such orders!" Van scolded the fiery God General. Ha, he sounded like a father disciplining his misbehaved son. Asch growled at Van then left and I hesitantly walked closer to the group to catch Tear yelling at her older brother.

"Calm yourself, I'll be waiting at the inn until you're ready to talk," Van said calmly.

"Master Van! Thanks!" Luke cheered and Van patted his head like a dog before heading to the inn without acknowledging me. And what am I suppose to do?

Annoyed, I grabbed a rock from the ground and chucked it towards the commandant, who of course dodged it, and he did not even turn his head to look at me but continued walking. However, my actions did not escape notice of Luke and the rest of the party.

"Oi, what did you do that for!" Luke shouted at me and I ignored him as I wondered what to do.

"Hey, answer me!" he got in my face this time, making it difficult to tune him out.

"You're obnoxious," I said, pushing him away. Huh…I guess the disguise is working for now…

"My, Luke, you are quite the ladies' man," Jade sarcastically teased him.

"How about we go hear what Van has to say?" Fon Master Ion insisted and after Tear reluctantly agreed, they headed to the inn.

"Left behind again, huh…" I muttered to myself before I decided to follow after them. By time I got inside the inn, everyone was seated around a long rectangular table in a heated discussion about the God Generals and Grand Maestro Mohs.

"The Seventh Fonstone?" I heard Van say and the others fell silent when they noticed my presence, looks of surprise on their faces, with the exception of Jade, the master of masking emotions.

"There you are, I was worried that you ran away," the commandant said almost teasingly in response to the party's silence, but I knew that there was a threat underlying it.

"Fheh, like I could…" I remarked bitterly.

"You know this chick, Master Van?" Luke gasped, taken aback by my attitude towards his precious master.

"Lia is my assistant from the Oracle Knights," Ha, what a load of bullshit. More like hostage than anything else…

"What! She tried to harm you!" Keyword is "tried" as my attempts have all been unsuccessful so far. And don't forget that Tear also attempted to kill her brother.

"She just has a bit of a temper."

"And I would appreciate it if you would stop talking as if I'm not here," I growled out, crossing my arms.

"Anyways, I'm glad that you are here. I want you to join them to monitor the God Generals' attacks against them, they are starting to become a problem," you clever bastard…so this is how you are planting me into the party as a spy.

"Unless, if you have any issues with that, Fon Master."

"No, Lia is more than welcome to join us," he smiled. Why must you be so innocent and cute, Ion?

"Good. Now then, Duke Fabre has given me these passports for you to cross the border and I happen to have some extras," Suspicious! Seriously, doesn't that send up a red flag in anybody's mind!

"Yeah, now we can go across the border!" Luke said enthusiastically.

"I'll go ahead and have a ship prepared while you all rest."

"I guess we'll meet at the naval port, right?" Guy asked for confirmation.

"Right," Van nodded and departed from the inn, leaving behind an awkward silence as the party was unsure how to interact with me.

"Well, I guess we should do some introductions. I'm Guy," pretending to be ignorant of his condition, I extended my hand forward and, as I expected, he jumped back, his body trembling uncontrollably from his phobia.

"Sorry, Guy doesn't like women," Oh, Luke, you have really bad wording, which cannot even be blamed on the English translation because Luke says practically the same thing in Japanese, and since I cannot resist, I will take advantage of this. Though, I do feel bad about making jokes at Guy's expense.

"Oh, but what has being gay have to do with this?" Luke flushed as red as his hair and from the corner of my eyes, I could see a grin on Jade's face as Guy protested.

"No, I like women! It's just a phobia…" Guy's face had turned red in embarrassment as well. I wonder if he would still react that way if I was still Emilio?

"Oh, Guy, we'll help you get over your phobia.~" Anise teased.

"Gah!" Guy hid behind Luke as Anise tried tickling him.

"Boo! Anyways, I'm Anise, Fon Master Guardian! And this is Fon Master Ion," she giggled, wrapping an arm around Ion.

"Colonel Jade Curtiss, Third Division, Malkuth Imperial Forces. Though, Jade alone is sufficient," he shook my hand.

"Tear Grants," she also shook my hand firmly.

"And that leaves you," I glanced at Luke.

"Luke fon Fabre."

"And I'm Lia." I bowed, not too low though. One day I was in Japanese and I was a clerk in a shopping scenario. I greeted the "customer" by bowing deeply, figuring it was better to be too polite than not be polite enough as I don't like to offend people, well, most of the time anyways. My elderly sensei exclaimed in a laugh that I bowed too much and was very polite.

After our introductions were done, we headed to the inn to test for the night and on the way, I overheard Luke nagging Tear about not trusting Van. To save money, we got two rooms with two beds and one room with three beds as oppose to four rooms with two beds.

The girls, consisting of Tear, Anise, and I, would be sharing the one room as the guys divide themselves amongst the other two rooms. Luke immediately jumped on having Guy as a roommate so Ion was left to put up with Jade.

"Ah, so comfy.~" Anise squealed as she rolled around on her bed in delight.

"You must be exhausted," Tear commented as she removed her hymnist outfit and put on a medium length nightgown that showed off her nice legs. Yeah, for no weird awkwardness from when I had to share a room with Luke. Yawning, I changed into my tank top and shorts.

"Wow, your melons are almost as big as Tear's!" Anise gasped loudly while I was changing, causing both Tear and I to flush.

"Can you speak any louder? I don't think the guys heard that," I sarcastically replied.

"Man, I wish mine were that big…" the young Fon Master guardian sighed.

"And you're how old? Both Tear and I are older than you so it makes sense that our bodies are more developed."

"I guess," she pouted. Not too long after that, Anise fell asleep soundly, snoring mildly. Tear was relaxing on her bed reading some sort of book while I sat up on the windowsill, looking through the window to appreciate the dark night sky with the full moon shining above amongst numerous stars.

I miss my family and friends so badly. This world is amazing but it is not home. It cannot replace all the years of memories that I have. No matter how long that I stay on this journey, I cannot forget that or if I do then I should just give up all hope of returning home.

Sighing at my insomnia, I left the room shutting the door as quietly as possible behind me. Proceeding down the hallway and past the doors of the guys' room, I took solace in the inn lobby, which consisted of a couple of decent armchairs, couches, and bookshelves. I grabbed a random book, that turned out to be about rappigs, and barely flinched when I got a paper cut.

I worked at a filing room and got paper cuts all the time so I always carried band-aids on me. But I did not have any band-aids here, unfortunately, and I did not want to bother Tear, even if she was still awake, for something so insignificant.

…Could I use the seventh fonon in a positive manner? Nervously, I hummed a random melody and immediately stopped when the cut on my left index finger turned black and expanded across the skin of my hand.

It almost looked like the mark that Jack Sparrow got in the second movie. I dropped the book in my right hand out of shock and it made a loud thud as it collided with the floor.

"Oh, what's going on here?" I gasped when I heard Jade's voice and tried hiding my hand behind my back.

"Nothing," I lied, cursing mentally as I had no cloth to wrap my hand in.

"Now, now, you shouldn't be hiding things from us," he smiled as he scolded me then reached behind my back to grab my hand to observe it up close.

"Oh my, this doesn't look good. Though, it's fascinating how corrupted the seventh fonons are in your body."

"Corrupted?"

"Yes, your body rejects it and so naturally, it doesn't function correctly. How odd, I only encountered one other person with this unique issue," Oh dear, don't tell me that Jade has figured it out already…

I snatched my hand back as if it was burned, escaping from the colonel's grip.

"I don't know what you are talking about…"

"Well, I'm sure that you have your reasons," Jade said mysteriously before he walked off without another word. I guess I will just wait and see if the colonel does anything as I am pretty sure that he has already made the connection between Emilio and Lia.

With exhaustion finally overcoming me, I returned to the girls' room. Tear had already fell asleep, her book lying on the nightstand beside her. I threw back the blue sheets of my bed and slipped underneath them, falling asleep instantly.

* * *

"_Beware if you ever have dreams of your grandmother or see her," my father said to me as I sat on his lap, looking up at him._

"_Why?" I said curiously, not having any recollection of said relative as she passed away before my birth._

"_Seeing her means that someone is going to die…"_

"_She will come for me, when it's time…"_

"_But I don't want you to die!" I cried, hugging his shirt._

* * *

_Sometimes I wonder what I see at times are just tricks of my mind or is it real?_

_Say "ghost" and any room will suddenly split in half in debate._

_However, which side is true? I cannot explain what I have seen with my own eyes, memories as a child seeing deceased relatives. The image is burned vividly in my mind and all these years I have wondered on what I saw._

_What is certain on this planet beyond a shadow of doubt? And how can we be so convinced of it as solid fact?_

_Reality and illusion. Truth and deception. Life and death._

_The line dividing the two are not as clear as we imagine them to be._


	7. Ch 7: Crossing the Rubicon

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Also, Legend of Zelda and its characters belong to Nintendo and etc...

**Additional Warnings**: General mindscrewery

**Authoress' Other Notes**: This is a short chapter, sorry. Originally, the party was supposed to have gone to Choral Castle and taken care of everything there this chapter but this is what happens when you write a fic without an outline…well, except for the fact that I have the ending already planned out. Next chapter will cover Choral Castle.

Thanks goes to Random Reviewer for reviewing, your words seriously brighten up my day when I sit here thinking how pathetic I am for writing this. Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_The bright chaotic lights of the casino slot machines. The loud, thunderous sounds of slot reels turning. _

_Games of predetermined chance._

_Yet, in spite of that, people are determined to beat the computer's game. Their hands caressing the machine like a lover with lips pressed up against the cold metal or pound the buttons in rage._

"_It's pointless," I scoff in disgust and walk away. Maybe I should take more of that fate into my own hands and I head for the table games. _

_I always wanted to try a game of poker at least once._

* * *

**Chapter 7: Crossing the Rubicon**

* * *

I was the last one to rise in the morning and everyone was waiting inside the Kaitzur lobby for me. When I entered room after taking time to shower and dress, everyone was relaxing in lounge chairs as Luke paced around the lobby impatiently. My hand was still black so I found a cloth in the bedroom to cover it until I am able to purchase a pair of gloves.

"What took you so long!" Luke yelled at me. Too exhausted to waste energy arguing with the temperamental Kimlascan, I simply glared at him.

"Looks like someone is Miss Sunshine in the morning.~" Jade joked.

"Shall we proceed onwards then?" I said coldly as I took the lead of the group, exiting the inn and heading to the border.

"Please present your passports," the stationed Malkuth soldier requested politely before letting us go ahead with a nod after inspecting our passports briefly. Yet, the Kimlascan soldier on the other side of the border had a more lively reaction to our group's presence.

"Oh! You're the ones that His Majesty said to let right through!"

"It's good to see that Luke is good for something.~" Jade commented ten minutes after passing by the Kimlascan guard.

"Oh, shut it," Luke growled back.

"As you wish, Master Luke.~" Jade taunted.

"My, Luke, I didn't know that you were in that kind of relationship with the colonel," That's payback. I am not going to just sit like an obedient dog and take it every time Luke insults me.

"What the…! You're disgusting! Are you related to Emilio or something?" he spat in disgust, like he had consumed foul food, and I fell silent at the last remark.

"Emilio?" Guy asked confused and I noticed Jade subtly glancing at me knowingly.

"Oh yeah, you didn't get to meet him…Granted, I don't know much myself but Luke and Tear met him in Tataroo Valley," Anise supplied.

"He was just some creep that we knew nothing about and I think he had a crush on Tear," Luke clarified further for Guy. No, you are just dense, though I bit my tongue.

"So what happened to him?"

"He was just a civilian so he was dropped off at the outskirts of Engeve. From that point on, who knows…" Jade said mysteriously and I shot him a brief glare, which just caused him to smirk.

"Anyways, I know of no such person," I replied and I could see the humor in Jade's eyes. I wonder what his motivations are for not revealing my identity to the others. Blackmail, perhaps? I have no clue, the colonel is a difficult person to read. Someone like Freud would have a field day trying to get into his head.

"Regardless, we should focus on the task at hand," Tear said neutrally. The party was pretty much silent the rest of the way until we reached the Kaitzur Naval Port. The sound of seagulls and distant waves cresting then crashing against the shore informed me of the nearby ocean.

As soon as we arrived at the base, that reminded me of an airfield with the long, clear roadways and the shape of the architecture of the buildings, we heard a loud roar of some sort of creature.

"Umm…what is that?" I said nervously, although, it was all a front.

"A monster perhaps…" Tear suggested calmly. One of the things I liked about Tear's personality was her ability to keep a cool head most of the time regardless of the situation, unlike me as I can be as hot headed as Luke at times. What can I say, I truly am a Taurus to the core.

"I bet Gloomietta is behind this!" Anise insisted, balling her hands up into fists at her side.

"Gloomietta…?" Guy asked innocently, causing Anise to run up to him.

"Arietta the Wild!" she shouted right by his ear and all Guy could do was tremble at the close proximity Anise was standing in relation to his body.

For some reason, this always bothered me when I had played the game as I did not understand why Anise did that to Guy. It just confused me immensely and I think Guy was just as confused as I was.

"I think Guy gets the point already," I said, taking pity on him, and Anise backed off.

"Hmm…it came from the harbor. Let's go," Tear led the way and I took up the rear behind Fon Master Ion, already aware of what to expect at the port. The ship was up in flames, smoke spewing up into the sky obscuring the clear blue sky, as Van had his sword drawn on Arietta.

"Who authorized you to do this!" the commandant shouted and I almost burst out in laughter. Normally, Van had a such tight rein on his emotions but here I could tell that he was angry at the disobedience of one of his puppets.

"I knew it! It's Gloomietta's fault!" Anise ranted and I rolled my eyes. Are you too consumed by your petty rivalry with Arietta to view the situation without any bias? Perhaps, I am too harsh on Anise but…

"You…" Van muttered as Arietta insisted in reply that she is not gloomy.

I tuned out the whole conversation and stared at the burning ship. I always had a fascination with fire. The flames enticed me, beckoning me to come closer to it.

Drawn in like a moth. Heh, would I burn if I ventured closer?

It was so alive, the way it moved spontaneously around and freely.

"Lia!" I heard Van shout my name and I snapped out of my trance.

"Hmm…?" I mumbled dreamily as I noticed everyone staring at me, obviously finished with their discussion about the ship, Arietta's involvement, and Asch.

"Sorry, I was daydreaming…So what happened with Arietta?" I probably sounded like a complete ditz but I could care less of what they thought of me.

"Geez, you're just as dense as Luke!" Anise exclaimed and, again, I noticed Jade's eyes watching me. Is everything I do that suspicious to the colonel?

"Are you sure that you can handle this?" Van asked in false concern for my wellbeing.

"Well, we are going to go ahead a bit. We'll be waiting at the entrance.~" Jade said suddenly and apparently it took everyone else by surprise, too, but they followed the colonel, leaving me alone with Van. Not again. Damn my luck.

"Do I need to remind you what will happen to you if you fail in your duty?" he said venomously, lifting me off the ground with his hand around my throat, causing me to choke.

"Do not forget who spared your pathetic life," I weakly grabbed at his wrist that was choking me with my left hand, the cloth falling to the ground.

He then threw me to the ground like a rag doll and I managed to land on my knees, which took the complete force of the fall upon it. Free of any pain and despite the blood pooling down my skinned knees, I rose to my feet.

"_Fight, child. Live!…Find your strength!" _A mysterious female voice spoke into my head, urging me to not give in. Am I going mad to be hearing voices in my head? Van had no reaction to the voice and besides, there is no one else around so it has to be from within my mind.

The mark on my left hand burned suddenly and my mind started to feel hazy, as if I was starting to lose consciousness.

"I'm not afraid of you and I will not break so easily," A voice that was not my own spoke out in defiance.

"_Not anymore…Too long have we allowed others to walk over us and be stabbed in the back by those that pretended to care."_

I shut my eyes trying to block out the bad memories that started playing in my mind.

"_You're a goddamn liar!"_

"_I never said that! Why don't you believe me!"_

No….Stop it…

"_You will be permitted to return there as long as you follow these conditions…"_

_I never wanted to live there. People think it is so great not having to pay for housing at college but that is all just a farce. It's a living nightmare._

_Just grin and bear it. Show no negative emotions or game over. Even one little slip up and it's done. Just pretend like you are an award winning actor._

"_How did your interview go?"_

"_It went well." I failed and broke into tears in the bathroom afterwards. But you will never know that because I'm no longer giving you power over me by showing weakness._

_When will karma come and do justice?_

That's enough…

"_Is it? No…there's no turning back now, little one. The die is already cast. Now, bare your fangs and fight!"_

* * *

"_There's no escape!" the red suited lady cackled at my misfortune._

"_Shut up!" I grabbed her by the throat and I gasped at the black patch over my skin on my left hand that I finally took note of. Was this part of their experimentation on me!_

_The woman took advantage of my brief moment of shock and broke free from my hold, jumping back off the couch towards her desk._

_I bolted up and ran towards the door of her bright office. Shit. It was locked._

_Mad shuffling of papers and the creaky protest of a drawer as it was forced open._

_I froze as I heard the clicking of a barrel of a gun behind me._

_Bang. _

_Then silence._

* * *

I woke up in a bed dazed and confused. Van stood, his hands crossed and a look of concentration on his face as in deep thought, in the corner of the room with Luke and the others surrounding the bed.

"…what happened…?" I said weakly, my head was throbbing so badly as if someone had sliced it open with an axe.

"You blacked out suddenly. My brother brought you here. We both tried healing you but it didn't work," Tear spoke up from the chair beside the bed. She reached over and gently grabbed my left hand as if it was fragile merchandise.

Though, I laughed internally at the thought of Van trying to heal me, I doubted that he wanted to of his own accord since he has only kept me alive to serve his purposes. I mean, I know he's a seventh fonist and taught Yulia's hymns to Tear but, for some strange reason, it just struck me as odd that he would be gifted with singing. Maybe, I am just too used to the images of badass villains playing the organ dramatically, like Gannondorf. Oh wait, Van did play the organ at the Absorption gate...that somehow slipped my mind.

"I don't know what this is…No matter what we tried, it would not go away. Why didn't you say anything…?"

"It was not your burden to bear…"

* * *

_A point of no return. The final confrontation is inevitable._

_But who is really the villain here?_

_Is it the one I see clearly right in front of me or is it some mysterious force I have yet to fully comprehend?_

_What is the difference between the villain of my reality and the one of my dreams?_

_Something is not adding up here and I am unable to point my finger at what's wrong with the picture. _

_And meanwhile this voice of reason within me urges me to reach an epiphany._

_But…of what?_


	8. Ch 8: Forgotten Memories and Unspeakable

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Also, Wizard of Oz and its characters belong to Frank Baum, the Scarlet Letter and its characters belong to Nathaniel Hawthorne, and etc…

**Additional Warnings**: none

**Authoress' Other Notes**: I hate my spellchecker, it makes unexpected changes escaping my notice and in this chapter, it kept changing "fomicry" to "formicary", which I thankfully caught. I didn't get through all of Choral Castle like I originally planned but that's what happens, as I explained in the previous chapter.

Thanks goes to Random Reviewer for reviewing (my lips are sealed and you can keep guessing, it actually intrigues me a lot). Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_After everything, even as I am the one to plunge that sword deep into your back, mortally wounding you, do you utter the words, "I believe in you."_

"_You idiot," I am unable to resist the tears that pour down in a constant stream as the blood stain your clothes and seep onto the front of my own. _

_Why must you have so much faith in me, despite my outright betrayal? It is I who took this weapon in my hands. There were no other hands that guided this blade into your body._

_I made this decision, regardless of the circumstances at hand, and I must live with the consequences. _

_A part of me died as well as your body fell silent in my shaking arms._

* * *

**Chapter 8: Forgotten Memories and Unspeakable Words **

* * *

Slowly, I tossed the bed sheets aside and managed to stand up onto my feet, despite some protest Tear.

"Forgive me for being a burden…Anyways, how long was I out?"

"Just a couple of hours…" I found the cloth, that had fell during my confrontation with Van, laid out on the nightstand and rewrapped it around my hand.

"Okay…I will be ready in a couple of minutes," I commented, referencing to putting my knee high socks and boots back on, and ushered the party to wait for me outside. Everyone complied, except for Van and Jade, which upon realizing this, both of them stared at each other.

I ignored the duo, sitting on the edge of the bed and crossed my right leg over my left to pull on the first sock while I sighed, not knowing whether to be grateful for Jade's presence or not. Did he intend on interrogating me? Though, I doubt he would do that with Van present.

"Ugh…" I made a noise of disgust when I realized that blood dyed my socks. My knees were healed but the seventh fonon did not cover cleaning, unfortunately.

"Damn it," I ripped the sock off my leg and tossed it against the wall, distracting the two from their staring contest.

"Hey, Jade, do you mind asking Fon Master Ion if he has an extra pair of tights that I can borrow?" Ion was probably the only character closest to my height that wore tights, of the current parties as if Natalia had been in the group already then I would ask her but that was not a viable option.

"Alright, but why not Tear?" Jade raised an eyebrow at my request. I admit that it is probably strange for a girl to be asking for such an article of clothing from a boy over another girl but I am not normal person and Ion is a pretty effeminate looking dude anyways.

"No, she wears really high socks that latch onto her undershirt. That wouldn't work for me," And that was perhaps too much information about the hymnist's undergarments for her brother and the middle aged colonel. I did not care as I just did not want to forgo wearing any sort of sock or tights with these boots as I have the tendency to get sores on my ankles if I do not.

The colonel nodded and exited the room, leaving me awkwardly in the room with Van. I was not sure why I blacked out while having my little fight with the commandant but it did not seem that he caused it either, based on my hazy recollection of the moment.

As soon as the door closed and heard the sound of Jade's boots clinking down the hallway in confirmation, I spat out, "What do you want, Van? I'm sure that you have more important matters to be attending to."

I should have probably been more grateful to him since he carried me here and tried healing me, though I highly doubted that it was an act of charity on his part. I was nothing but a pawn to him, a thing that he could easily discard at any time once it had exceeded its use.

Yet, he still had appearances to maintain. The group, Jade especially, would become suspicious if I disappeared so suddenly and without any explanation.

"You've changed…"

"Ha, that's rich coming from you. You don't know me at all," I did not even both holding back my laugh. Though, I probably sounded like a crazed woman with the way I cackled. If only I had an army of flying monkeys…

My laughter ceased when I heard a soft knocking on the door before Jade entered with the pair of pale green tights from the Fon Master. The colonel tossed the tights at me and I caught it with ease. I may not be the athletic type but I have decent eye and hand coordination from playing video games since I was a young kid.

I raised an eyebrow as the two stood firmly and had no motions of leaving the room, which prompted me to teasingly say, "do you intend on watching me as I put these tights on?"

The realization dawned upon the two from the implication of my words and they departed from the room to leave me in peace. The tights felt soft in my hands and I was thankful to discover that they were thick and not see through as I poked at it with my index finger.

Satisfied with my temporary replacement for my beloved knee high socks, I slipped the tights all the way up my legs and around my waist then pulled my skirt back down, that had hitched up from my hands dragging the tights upwards. The boots followed, gliding on easily over the material of the tights.

I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror hanging next to the closet. I am not vain about my appearance but I wanted to make sure everything was in place and that the skirt was pulled down in the back so I did not embarrass myself by unwillingly exposing my buttocks.

Everything was in its proper place but something struck me odd about my face. For a closer examination, I stepped closer to the mirror until my nose was pressed against it. There were abnormal specs of violet scattered about the brown irises of my eyes.

While I wanted to believe that this was impossible, after everything that has happened to me since coming into this video game world, nothing seemed impossible anymore and everything in this place just confused me more and more.

My sense of logic had no ground here. Not of the two plus two equals four variety but of more complex matters. Things that happen that should not and defy all semblance of reason.

There was nothing for me to anchor upon within this place, nothing that I could believe beyond any doubt that this was real and it was maddening.

My desperate pleas to return home were unanswered and I had no glass slippers upon my feet to spirit me back into the world that I knew so well and loved.

* * *

Van was missing when I rejoined the group, who were still waiting outside of the small rest area in the naval port of Kaitzur, and I made no remark about his absence.

"Thank you, Fon Master, I will try my best to make sure that they don't get ruined under my care" I smiled as I looked down at the tights adorning my legs.

"You're more than welcome," Ion smiled back at me.

"Though, they kinda clash with the black and red of your clothes…." Anise commented.

"Oh well, I guess I wouldn't be winning any fashion competitions anytime soon," I joked as we tried to leave the naval base until we were stopped by one of the engineers.

"Please wait, Fon Master," he pleaded and Anise stood in front of Ion protectively.

"What do you want?"

"Arietta the Wild captured our maintenance chief. Please save him!" the man dropped to his knees in desperation as another engineer came up behind him.

"Please. He piously follows the Score and the Order of Lorelei. His birth Score for this year states that calamity will be avoided" he appealed to the Fon Master.

"Alright," he nodded in response.

"Are you certain?" Jade asked, slightly shocked at the Fon Master willingness to go along with the engineer's request.

"Yes. It is what Arietta wanted anyways."

"I concur with the Fon Master," Tear spoke.

"Man, this is ridiculous…" Luke complained. I agreed with Luke's statement but for totally different reasons. As someone who is determined to live according to her own path of choosing rather than follow a predetermined future, the Score disgusted me.

Even so, I did not agree with Van's methods nor do I intend to align myself with him, despite the fact that I have reluctantly ended up as his spy. Erecting a world of just replicas from the current living and deceased. It is just foolishly resurrecting the past, not solving the problem at hand.

Rising Hod from the cold depths of the sea upon a pile of corpses. It is an act of necromancy.

Yet, it is taking a step back rather than moving forwards. I could respect his intentions but the price and the ultimate outcome hardly seem worth it.

"If we neglect to follow the accord of the Score that has deemed that this man's life will avoid calamity, then we would be going against Yulia's teachings," Tear explained to Luke, though it fell on deaf ears as he gave her a blank look.

"Fheh. Let the black flower blossom as it may," I quoted, with clear disgust evident on my face, the words of Chillingworth from Nathaniel Hawthorne's _The Scarlet Letter_. I had to read the book for an English class and while I outright hated the book, I was ultimately content with it as it left me with this quote.

However, this attracted the surprised looks of everyone else. I cursed mentally when I remembered that the last thing I wanted was to attract more attention to myself.

"Lia, you're not a follower of the Order of Lorelei? But, you're in the Oracle Knights…" Anise gasped. Great, thanks Van, now I have to work myself out of this contradiction when neither statement is true in the first place.

Though, is it really that strange? There are extreme terrorists that call themselves devout followers when their own very actions go against the teachings of their doctrine. There are religious elitists that preach about giving love unconditionally to others yet they persecute them. There are ones who claim to be exacting justice when their own actions are in fact corrupt.

Of course, these people are not representative of everybody in the group. Just because there is one bad egg, that does not necessarily mean that the other eleven in the pack of dozen are bad either.

"Perhaps we could discuss this later as the life of the maintenance chief is in jeopardy by Arietta's pets," Jade calmly interrupted and I was extremely grateful, though I could not help but wonder if he had any ulterior motives. No, I should worry about that later when it becomes relevant.

"Alright," Anise pouted.

"Be assured, I harbor no ill will against you, Fon Master," I reaffirmed myself, lest they think that I am going to try assassinating Ion or whatever heinous plan they thought I could plot against him.

"I trust you, Lia," Ion reassured me with that gentle smile of his and I almost cried.

* * *

Choral Castle was a gloomy place, Anise would say that it is a location befitting Arietta. It was not just the run down parts of the building, damaged from war, that conveyed this feeling but the dark colors of the walls and the sparse amount of vegetation and furniture. Then atop of that, dark storm clouds seemed to eternally loom over this once glorious manor.

"Wow, wait a minute, I was found in THIS place! It's probably haunted," Luke exclaimed, he threw his hands up in the air.

"Do you remember anything? Like when you're kidnapped?" Guy asked and I could not help but notice a slight sound of nervousness in this voice. Did Guy, despite being the age of fourteen at that time, perhaps aid Van in kidnapping Asch? But that did not explain his anxiety as Luke would not have any recollection of that as he does not have Asch's memories.

"You can't remember anything from when you were young, huh…" Anise spoke sadly.

"Well, I can only remember as far back as when I was returned home seven years ago…"

"Isn't that a bit odd? It's like you were given a blank slate…" I commented lazily as I recalled tabula rasa in my mind. Jade shot me a brief glance, probably curious if I knew anything about fomicry or replicas.

"It can't be that unusual," Luke denied.

"No matter, I will help you get your memories back!" Anise responded cheerfully.

"What's wrong, Tear?" Ion asked upon seeing the thoughtful expression on the hymnist's face.

"It's just that…despite this place being abandoned for years, there has been recent activity or, at least, evidence for it."

"Yeah, I would have expected the vegetation to have overtaken the inside and the entirety of the outer walls by now. But that's not the case," I observed but Luke just shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, shall we proceed inside?" Guy commented before we entered the compound. Luke ran in front of the group excitedly, eager in taking in the surroundings, despite their depressing vibe. I pulled an arrow from my quiver and readied my bow for upcoming danger as Luke recklessly explored ahead of the group.

"Wow, so we used to vacation here…"

"Luke, don't get too far ahead," Guy scolded his charge.

"I get it already," Luke waved his hand dismissingly and everybody tensed as a monster appeared and charged towards him.

"Luke!" Tear and Jade called out in alarm. Lining up my arrow perfectly with the target, I let the arrow shoot forward. A inhuman scream was let out as the arrow landed dead center into the monster's body and it dropped dead onto the floor just as Luke turned around to face us.

"Wow, nice shot," Anise complimented my archery skills.

"It was almost like you were expecting that monster," Jade commented skeptically, his glasses were gleaming hiding his eyes.

"I had my bow raised for a while just in case there was any nasty surprises waiting for us. I mean, Arietta is expecting us and everything. I was surprised that you didn't already have your weapon out and ready being that you're a military officer," I tried to reason before I took a deep sigh.

"Forgive me, perhaps I underestimated the situation in my old age.~"

"Anyways, what the hell is that thing?" Luke shouted. Jade walked up to it for a close inspection.

"Ah, it's a fontech doll to guard against intruders and it appears to be a recent model," he said thoughtfully. It was probably one of Dist's creations, no real question about it.

"See, you need to pay more attention," Guy nudged Luke in the side to reaffirm his point.

"Alright already!" Luke scowled at him.

We continued along the hallways of the vacation home with Luke faithfully sticking to close range of the group until we came across the fomicry machine. It made me uneasy. Four gold bent pillars supported a decorative roof with a design in gold over a hole in the flooring. The stairs to the right of this contraption led down to a floor with machinery and another set of stairs that led up the platform directly underneath the hole.

"What the hell is this!" Luke exclaimed, freaking out at the weird machine sitting inside his parents' former vacation manor.

"This is…?" Jade started, his eyes wide in shock but then stopped his train of thought immediately.

"Do you know what it is?" Anise asked but the colonel shook his head in denial.

"No…I cannot be certain of what is…"

"What? Does it somehow pertain to me?" Luke pressed.

"I can't be certain of it yet. Allow me some time to think about it," Clearly, Jade did not want to bring up the subject of fomicry or replica right now.

"Wow, Jade is actually nervous about something? Though I am worried about something, especially if what you are thinking about relates to Luke's kidnapping…" Guy was cut off by a loud squeaking noise that caught Anise off guard and she clinged onto the Fabre servant from behind.

Guy let out a scream to match Anise's as he pushed her off, causing her to land back on the floor onto her rear with a thud.

"What…?" Anise said as she stood up, rubbing her back, confused by his actions.

"…I…" Guy looked down at the ground with a pained expression on his face, perhaps the image of his sister dying replaying in his mind.

"Guy didn't mean to do that, Anise," I spoke up for Guy, giving him some time to try to collect himself. I really felt bad for him.

"Well, that's obvious," Jade mocked me and I almost made a remark about shoving a stick somewhere until Guy found his voice.

"I'm sorry. My body just acted on its own. I didn't mean for that to happen…"

"Bad experience? It can't be a mere aversion to females…" Ion said thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry…I don't have an idea. I wasn't always this way but there is a gap in my memories…"

"You too?" Luke gasped.

"It's different. It's just one memory that's missing…"

"How can you be so sure?" Tear questioned.

"Oh, I am certain. It's the memory when my family passed away. Anyways, that is enough about me. I want to know what's bothering you, Jade…" Guy tried to pass the attention onto the colonel, who did not seem to appreciate the sentiment.

"Well, just like you having no desire to talk of the past, there is some things that I do not wish to speak of."

"I guess everybody has skeletons in their closet…" I tried to push the seriousness of the conversation away, though the air still seemed to be dense.

"Skeletons? Why would you keep that in your closet? That's gross." Luke said, perplexed, and I burst out into laughter.

"Why are you laughing? You have really strange hobbies," I clutched my stomach as I rolled around on the floor in laughter. The party ignored my antics, like it was in no way abnormal.

"I don't think she was being serious, Luke," Guy tried to reason to him as Luke rolled his eyes at my incessant laughter.

* * *

_A lifeless doll, seems to be a fitting term for what I have become. Acting out of no will of my own._

"_You did perfect," his cold callous hand pats my head like an obedient pet._

_Even after I bathed myself clean of taint, I can still see blood staining my hands._

"_You lied," I whisper, weakly, without much conviction in my voice. This only earns his hoarse, booming laughter._

"_Oh? I forced you to do nothing, you acted of your own accord." _

_No, it's a lie. It's all lies…I try to fool myself._

_Just wait, in the end, you won't be the one laughing._


	9. Ch 9: The Mirage before the Storm

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.

**Additional Warnings**: More mindscrewery. 8D Seriously, it should be made into a genre.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: In spite of what happens in this chapter, it is not meant to be a bashing of Anise. I am just trying to be realistic that Lia is not going to get along with everybody. And Lia is going to be biased on her view of things because it is her perspective after all…

And, ah, the inconsistencies, there's quite a few of them in this fic. Believe it or not, it's on purpose. Hohoho.~ As for any typos, those are mistakes on my part. XD

Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_A thousand questions yet no answers are heard. In place of a solution, another question is raised. How much longer until we arrive at a moment of complete clarity?_

_Inconsistencies, some that escape my notice and others that I lack the ability to explain its existence._

_From how does a translucent ghost turn into a living being? How does one spot transition to the next without its proper connection tying it together?_

* * *

**Chapter 9: The Mirage before the Storm**

* * *

Upon the stairway leading up to the rooftop of Choral Castle, we spotted one of Arietta's liger friends hurry up the stairs. And leading right into a trap, I noted to myself, but though no such thoughts crossed Luke's mind as he made no hesitation in following right after the creature. Right behind the impatient nobleman, Anise and Ion followed as Tear reached out her hand and attempted to warn them about the possible dangers. However, her words fell onto deaf ears as they proceeded on without any worries.

"My, my. Children these days are rather hyperactive.~" Jade grinned.

"They should really think before they jump into something right away," Guy sighed.

"Don't you think we should be going after them rather than just standing here and criticizing?" I commented lazily.

"My, you don't seem that concerned. What a poor knight you are…" I rolled my eyes at the colonel's teasing.

By time we reached the rooftop, Luke was captured within the talons of a griffin. Anise was already returned to the ground from the other griffin, that had captured her by mistake instead of Fon Master Ion, by Arietta's command. Guy shouted Luke's name but, despite how much the nobleman struggled in the huge bird's grasp, it would not budge until the griffin's talons suddenly released him, landing him right onto the lap of Dist in his floating chair.

My eyes made brief contact with the red ones of the fontech loving God General before he flew away. Arietta soon followed riding on top of her liger.

"So, Dist is involved as well? How troublesome…" Jade commented.

"Argh…" Suddenly an intense throbbing pain struck my head and I was unable to restrain the loud groan that emitted from my voice. This attracted the attention of everyone, causing them to hesitate before they ran off to find Luke.

"Don't mind me! Find Luke, I will be fine!" I urged them onwards, Tear nodding in understanding before I was left alone on the roof. Man, I am such a burden…

Still clutching my head, I sighed as I looked upwards at the dismal sky.

"My, how weak," a new deep female voice spoke and I quickly lowered my chin to get a look of who it was. She had long strands of violet hair and a black patch covering her left eye. Her exposed dark green eye stared at me intently.

Why does it feel like I have seen this woman before?

"Cantabile…" I whispered softly, not loud enough to reach the woman's ears, remembering clips I had seen of this woman in Tear's arc of Tales of Fandom Volume 2. A proud, strong woman that had served as one of Tear's teachers alongside Legretta. Her existence was completely wiped away from the actual console game, save for a single reference to her in a book within Daath's library.

In other words, a phantom that should not be here now. Then again, I did not belong here, either.

"Oh, you know of me?" she grinned, sending shivers down my spine as her face had a look of a predator about to eat their prey. Unconsciously, I took a step back, afraid of what she could do.

My cursed mark burned and I could feel that uncontrollable haze consume my entirety. No longer was I in the driver's seat of my own body.

"_Your reputation proceeds you,"_ the words left my lips without my consent.

'_Who are you!' _I called out within my mind to the entity controlling my body.

'_By now, I had hoped that you would have gained the strength to protect yourself. But it seems that my faith was misplaced. If you do not change your ways, then you will never pass the test and return home. If you fail now, it is game over.'_

'_What test are you talking about!' _I yelled at her in confusion and she only responded with a chuckle then ignored me.

"_Have you come to kill me? Finish the job of your superior?" _I could feel my lips moved up into a smirk.

"You know too much. If you were to escape and reveal what you know, then it would be the end of all of us," Cantabile replied strangely. Though, my mind started playing tricks on me as her image flickered translucently between her and another seemingly familiar woman wearing a long white lab coat. But from where I realized this other woman, I could not recall.

"_Sorry, but I will not go down easily."_

"Yes, I've heard that you put up quite a fight…" the appearance of the woman shifted back to Cantabile, becoming solid once again in my mind. The Sixth Division Commander drew her sword but, despite the taunts of the entity controlling me, my body did not charge towards her.

Rather, my legs stepped back until I stood on the ledge of the roof.

'_What are you doing! Are you mad?' _I shouted in fear.

'_With this, it is your move. Fail and it's over. Your feeble attempts will all be in vain. Succeed and eventually you will discover the path to return home.' _the haze and voice left me suddenly as my body fell backwards off the roof and gravity worked its magic as it sent me plummeting down towards the ground.

Then my vision faded to black, unsure if my body even made contact with the ground.

"Lia! Aren't you coming?" Tear's voice called and my eyes adjusted as they opened, shock inhibiting my vocal cords as I realized that I was still on the roof. There was no sign of Cantabile. Just Tear, standing next to the entrance of the doorway, her eyes laced with concern.

"What just happened?" I managed to ask, my mind racing and unable to process what had happened with Cantabile.

"Are you ok? We're going after Luke. Everyone went ahead but I noticed that you were just standing there with a blank look on your face."

"Oh, sorry. Let's go before we fall too far behind," I offered no explanation on behalf on myself and Tear did not pry any further. Tear and I arrived by the fomicry machine, which Luke was laid out on, just in time to witness Sync taking off in the opposite direction. Jade turned off the machine with a single press of a button so that Luke could jump off the contraption.

"Man, what was that all about?" Luke groaned, scratching the back of his head.

"What's wrong, Guy?" Ion asked and the Fabre servant lifted up the fon disc that he snatched from Sync for everybody to see.

"I was just wondering what this is…"

"Perhaps Jade could look at it later," the Fon Master suggested.

"Are you alright, Luke? Why did they kidnap you?" Tear asked.

"Beats me! Why does this stuff always happen to me?" Luke whines and I scowled briefly, before I quickly changed my expression so Jade would not pick up on it.

"Arietta is behind this! Oh, she's going to get it!" Anise fumed.

"Don't make judgments upon others without the solid facts to back it up!" I could not control myself any longer and I snapped at the Fon Master Guardian. Everyone's eyes widened, save for Jade who only raised an eyebrow at my outburst. Anise glared at me.

"Why are you sticking up for Gloomietta! She's our enemy!" she pulled out Tokunaga, readying herself to fight me. The doll expanded to its full size to adjust to her height, thanks to Dist's tinkering, and she climbed on top.

Was she too young for this to be a result of female hormones? Regardless, somehow I managed to strike a nerve and I doubted there was any way to get out of this little fight.

"Anise, don't you think that you are going too far?" Guy said worriedly. But Jade stopped him from intervening by placing his hand on the young swordsman's shoulder. Anise ignored him and started preparing a fonic arte, prompting me to start running around her to avoid the attack.

"Negative gate!" she shouted and a ball of dark pinkish energy materialized behind me, barely missing my body. However, it took the bottom end of my top, that flew behind me as I ran, as its prisoner.

My top was ruined as a result, a tear ripping down the center of my back, and I was grateful that I wore a tank top underneath as I discarded it onto the floor. Oh well, I was not that fond of the top that much anyways.

As Anise prepared another arte in my direction, I attempted to perform a fonic arte myself to counteract hers. Though, I doubted that I would succeed with my so called "corrupted" fonons. Heck, I did not even know how to cast a fonic arte.

I closed my eyes as I held my palms out from my body in front of me but was then distracted by someone grabbing my arms to interrupt the casting. I opened my eyes to stare in shock at crimson eyes but we both realized it was too late to stop the arte.

Though, the colonel's intervention allowed the target to shift from Anise to the nearby fomicry machine, which the others had already evacuated up the stairs to the platform above us. A guardian arte from Tear protected the two of us from Anise's arte, which it had been too late for her to stop hers either.

As soon as Tear's protective arte dispelled the arte into tiny, weak balls of energy, black lightning appeared out of nowhere and struck the machines with a loud roar, causing me to jump a little.

"That's enough. You could have been killed, Anise," Jade said and she finally relented, Tokunaga shrinking back to a portable size.

"That wasn't ordinary lightning…" Guy observed.

"Indeed. At first, I thought that your fonons were just corrupt…but it's just not that…" the colonel pushed his glasses up as he turned towards me.

"Her fonons are fused with miasma, right?" Ion guessed and Jade nodded grimly in confirmation.

"Wait, you're saying that there's miasma in my system! Then, why aren't I dead! And why aren't any of you infected?"

"An infection would only result if you used a fonic arte and it made direct contact with one of our bodies. That's why I tried to stop you, though I realized it too late. As for how you are able to coexist with the miasma, perhaps it is a mutation that makes you immune to its negative effects. Though, I am more curious as to how the miasma became contained within your body…"

"Like hell am I going to let you experiment on me," I crossed my arms in front of me protectively. This earned some odd looks from the rest of the party, except for Ion, who was perhaps knowledgeable already of Jade's past.

"Anyways, Arietta awaits us, remember? This has hardly been a place to take a pleasure stroll in. And ladies, please try to behave yourselves in the meantime, okay?" he scolded lightly as he changed the topic, not wishing to shed light on his dark past yet. Anise scowled at me viciously before she moved to walk at the front of the group.

"And I would advise you to not use fonic artes unless you wish for their corpse," Jade whispered to me before he followed behind Anise. Guy, Luke, and Tear avoided me, tension filling the gap between us, and I was not sure how they felt about me now.

But there was Ion smiling at me and taking my hand to urge me onwards with the group, despite the hostility from Anise and possible hatred from the others.

As we walked up the stairs once more, Anise and Jade led the front of the pack as Tear, Guy, and Luke was in the center while Ion and I took up the rear.

"Hey, Ion, can I ask you a question?" I slowed my pace so that there was some distance between us and the rest of the party.

"Certainly."

"Do you know anything about Cantabile?" I asked, seeking confirmation that my confrontation with her was not real, just a figment of my crazy imagination.

"She was a member of the Oracle Knights but she was arrested after trying to assassinate King Ingobert. Her family was from Hod and she harbored ill feelings towards Kimlasca, whom she felt was responsible for its destruction."

"Oh…"

"Why do you ask?"

"I just heard Van mention her name once but he never explained who she exactly was," I lied to him.

"Yes, well, information about her is restricted to the highest ranks of the Order of Lorelei and King Ingobert and his council. The assassination attempt itself is not public knowledge," he explained and I raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Politics," Ion cast his eyes downwards as he said it.

"Anyways, why did you tell me?" I asked perplexed, but the Fon Master just shrugged. A couple of minutes later, however, he suddenly stopped walking and turned to me.

"I know that you're not an Oracle Knight, Emilio. Or is your name really Lia?" my body completely froze up. Ion was more observant than he let on.

"So you've figured it out, huh…No, my real name is Lia…" now this time, it was my turn to avert my gaze.

"I had a hunch and Jade also seemed to be suspicious of you as well. Don't worry, I haven't told anyone. But, what are your motivations?"

* * *

_It seems inevitable but to allow my hands to be dirtied in order to protect. Shall I willingly envelop myself into the mask of a demon to achieve the end I desire?_

_Or will the means be too much? _

_Will I become isolated, with turned backs facing me, viewed and hated as just any other villain? Stones pelted at my tired body as I am tied to a stake._

_I had succumbed myself into the darkness to save the light, yet now the light shuns me._


	10. Ch 10: Blending

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.

**Additional Warnings**: Mindscrewery

**Authoress' Other Notes**: If this fic were to have a theme song, it would be Ali Project's "Waga Routashi Aku no Hana" without a doubt. The song didn't inspire this fic but it is a fitting match. I will reveal the actual inspirations for this story at the end for if I unveiled that now then it perhaps would ruin part of the mystery.

Also, I am sometimes perplexed with translations at times. In this case, it is Legretta's name. The romanization provided by one Japanese source is "Regret" so I am confused what to make of it. Regardless, I am using the names provided in the US version of the game because I played that version, am in no position to question the authority of the translators, and it is what I am accustomed to.

Thanks go to Random Reviewer for reviewing (Some of your guesses are spot on and I am not telling which ones are correct yet.~ Aren't I evil?). Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_It is the night that most children anticipate. Adorned in various costumes, they parade down the dimly lighted sidewalks in search of candy._

_Masks upon their faces, cleverly concealing their identity until the sun rises once more and the mask disappears from sight._

_Or so it is meant to go._

"_Halloween is not for another month, you know," my friend teases me when I show up to class wearing a cheap plastic bunny mask. She clearly misses my point, even as I take off the bunny mask to expose another one I'm wearing underneath it._

* * *

**Chapter 10: Blending**

* * *

"My motivations, huh…"

"How loyal are you to Van?" Ion persisted in a hushed voice, so it would not echo, when I did not answer.

"Fheh. Hardly at all. Though, I wonder what has triggered your suspicions of Van?" Then it was the Fon Master's turn to fall silent.

"Well, regardless, your suspicions aren't unfounded…"

"How about we finish this conversation later? The others are starting to notice that we aren't right behind them," Ion commented, looking up and saw Guy staring back down at us from three flight of stairs.

"Alright," Ion and I ran up the rest of the stairs to catch up with the group. I felt embarrassed as my tank top did little to cover me, granted it was better than just a bra, while running and no matter how many times I pulled up the fabric, it would keep falling down.

"Talk about a wardrobe malfunction," I muttered as we hurried to the rooftop.

"Sorry, I don't have a jacket on me for you to borrow."

"No, it's okay. I feel bad enough borrowing your tights."

When Ion and I finally reached the rooftop, everyone was standing in a defensive position, weapons drawn and ready across from Arietta, who was accompanied by the liger and monstrous bird faithfully at her side.

"You're all going to pay!" the feral God General yelled, clutching her creepy doll tightly to her chest.

"Oh, shut it! You're annoying!" Luke replied arrogantly. I wasn't sure about fighting Arietta though. I could understand her loneliness, finding comfort only in the monsters accompanying her, and I could not help but have a maternal instinct materialize in myself to protect her underneath my wing.

"I can understand your dedication to your mother and respect that. But, what will spilling more blood accomplish but create more pain?" I started as I walked past the others to stand in front of her.

"What done is done. We cannot resurrect the dead. The world that has been promised to you has been nothing but a false dream," I tried to convince her, hoping to eventually turn her against Van.

"What would you know! You understand nothing!" Arietta scratched my face with her long nails, that were sharp as claws, and I could practically hear the sneer on Anise's face. I did not flinch nor did I close my eyes at the contact, causing her eyes to widen a bit.

"Arietta!" Van's harsh voice snapped me out of my train of thought. Turning my head to the side, the Commandant walked by the group without sparing them any looks and smacked the girl so hard that she fell to the ground as she cried out quick and numerous apologies.

"You bastard!" I cursed and kicked the side of his leg, which managed to catch him off guard as he had been to preoccupied with Arietta to spare any of us any attention.

"How dare you! She's only a child!" he glared at me as I did not relent in my kicks and I was the persistent thorn in his side.

"A child! Does that excuse her actions!" Van bellowed at me, trying to restrain me. In the background behind us, I could hear Luke shouting to stop fighting his precious master.

"Certainly not! But there are other ways to resolve the issue!"

"My, with their violent relationship, it's a wonder that she became the Commandant's assistant. A sparring partner seems more fitting of a title," Jade teased, obviously amused at the entertainment before him.

"Are chicks always this crazy?" Luke whined and I heard a loud smack afterwards. Perhaps Anise. I could just imagine Tear just sending him a silent glare.

"Normally, just during that time of month but…" Guy chuckled nervously.

"What time of the month?" Luke said innocently and I groaned, finally ceasing in my attacks upon Van, as everyone fell silent.

"You got to be kidding me…" This was almost as bad as the guy in my Introduction to Human Evolution class, that focused primarily on primates and some basics of physical anthropology, did not know the difference between the estrous and menstrual cycle.

"Do you know how babies are made?" I turned around to question Luke.

"Of course, I do! Do you think that I am some kind of idiot! Yulia sends them down from the sky," I immediately laughed at his response, even the others barely restrained theirs, and he sent me a strange look.

"No, that's not right!" Arietta said meekly as she rose to her feet, a bruise evident on her right cheek from where Van's hand made contact with her face.

"You're kidding me!" he scowled at her, crossing his arms defensively.

"Legretta told me that a baby is made when a man and a woman really love each other," Closer to the truth but not quite there.

'_You should focus on the task at hand,' _the voice inside my head scolded me.

'_I am not the one that started this conversation,' _I retorted.

'_How naïve,' _she scoffed before she disappeared again.

"Hey, snap out of it!" I blinked, upon opening my eyes that I had not realized were closed. Arietta was laying on the floor of the rooftop before me and I noticed Van to my right.

Not again, what is going on with my head?

Sighing, I leaned a bit and helped bring the God General back to her feet, who whispered a small utterance of gratitude, while I pondered as to whether the whole baby conversation happened or not.

"I hadn't heard any word of the Fon Master arriving in Kaitzur so I thought to check here," Arietta cast her eyes downward at Van's words as they ignored her presence.

"Forgive me," Ion responded.

"Though, it is a bit late now for remorse. With your permission, I shall take Arietta into my custody."

"Alright and please have her healed," Ion nodded and Van picked her up like she was weightless.

"What about her crimes and presenting them to His Majesty and the army?" Guy asked before the Commandant started to walk away.

"We will act according to the procedures of the Order. We will punish her then send out a report explaining the circumstances.," the Fon Master explained.

"Count Almandine sent me support so I will also be able to take the maintenance chief back as well. But what do you plan to do, Fon Master?"

"Well, some of us are intrigued by this manor…" Ion started, his face set in a stoic expression that did not betray any mistrust on his behalf.

"Yeah, I want to walk. The ship will take us right to Baticul so I just want to enjoy this freedom a little longer," Luke spoke up soberly. There was the longing to return home evident in his voice, yet, also the desire to savor the brief freedom granted before returning back to the confines of his elegant prison. Despite his arrogant attitude and ignorance, though perhaps it was not a fault of his own, I pitied him and for what is to come.

"I guess it's unanimous then. We'll meet up with you later."

"Alright. Take care of yourselves," Van nodded before leaving with Arietta.

"Luke?" Tear inquired, seeing the distinct frown on his face.

"In a way, I wish I didn't have to go back to Baticul. I will just be locked back up in the manor."

"Home…" I whispered wishfully to myself.

"My, you have been so intent on returning home until now," Jade teased, causing Luke to scowl.

"Shall we get going then?" Guy suggested.

During the entire walk from Choral Castle back to Kaitzur Naval Port, all I could think about was home. When was the last time that I hugged either one of my parents? Or laughed with one of my friends?

'_The journey is not easy but you must gather the strength from inside of you to continue on,'_ the entity residing inside of me spoke.

'_Until what point? How long must I wander aimlessly before I can return home?'_

'_Remember this, that decision is up for you to decide. The journey will last for as long as you need it to be. No one holds you here against your will. This is not your prison and never will be unless you make it so.' _

'_What do you mean? Stop speaking in riddles!' _she sighs at my mental shouting before departing again.

"We've been awaiting your arrival! Dorian General Grants is discussing matters with Lieutenant General Almandine at the meeting hall. You are to go there at your earliest convenience," a Kimlascan soldier greeted us upon entering the base.

"How are the repairs going?" Jade asked.

"Excellent, sir. We should have her running in no time," the man replied before he politely returned to his post.

"Now, where is this room?" Luke questioned as he scanned the area, looking left to right.

"Probably, closer to the port," Guy responded.

"My, you have grown up, Luke," the Count greeted as soon as we entered the meeting room, which basically consisted of a long rectangular table with chairs around it. There was barely any decoration on the walls. Luke just gave him a blank look, not recalling this man's identity.

"Well, I guess you were young at the time that I visited your father at your manor," It was probably Asch that he had the pleasure of meeting if Luke had no memory of the Count but I was not going to divulge this information.

"I'm sorry," Luke apologized, causing me to almost snort. Instead, I ended up sneezing onto my arm.

"I have explained the situation with Arietta to Count Almandine," Van directed at Fon Master Ion.

"Alright. I sincerely apologize for her actions."

"It's fine. I trust that Daath will handle things appropriately," the Count replied and I rolled my eyes.

"How naïve," I scoffed, repeating the very words that the entity inside of me used, and earned a glare from the Commandant telling me to shut up.

"Pardon?" Almandine blinked as I crossed my arms.

"The Order of Lorelei is currently split between the factions that support Grand Maestro Mohs and Fon Master Ion, along with those that wish to remain neutral. On top of that, the Six God Generals are acting like loose cannons. So, who are you going to trust?"

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about!" Anise yelled at me, the first thing she has said to me since our fight in Choral Castle.

"And you are?" the Count sent me a puzzled look but not seemingly offended by blunt comment.

"You're out of line, Lia. Stand down!" Van bellowed, barely concealing his anger behind his perfect mask.

"Is that an order?" I smirked then left the meeting room. Behind me I could hear the Commandant apologizing to the Count for my behavior.

I stood on the dock looking out over the water, the ferry off to right, as the sun gradually started to set in the distance. Shades of yellow, red, blue, and black painted the sky while the darkness started to mask their essence. The surface of the water mirrored this image so vividly that, for a minute, I forgot which was the sky and which was the ocean.

Soft patter of feet brought me out of my trance and I turned my head to see Ion by himself as he went to stand beside me.

"Everyone is at the inn. We'll be departing in the morning," the Fon Master informed me and I nodded silently.

"Though, I'm afraid that you are starting to make yourself a lot of enemies," his tone was not scolding at all, despite his words.

"You asked me before what my motivations were. Truth be told, I just want to go home, much like Luke. It may be hard for you to believe but I'm not from Auldrant. I don't know how I got here. All I remember is waking up in Tataroo Valley and meeting Luke and Tear there," I fell silent briefly after admitting that.

"Why are you so adamant about stopping Van?"

"I know what he is planning and my morals will not allow it. So, if I must wear a mask of a villain to foil his goals then so be it. I will not ask for forgiveness when I am standing up for something I believe in, a feat I have not accomplished in my life so far. I'm stranded here for the time being so I might as well do something to occupy my mind elsewhere rather than be trapped inside my longing for home."

"This is certainly a lot of information to process," Ion calmly replied.

"Indeed, on top of everything, my memory has been unreliable lately. It's becoming difficult for me to tell what real or not anymore," I picked up a rock and tossed it across the water until it stopped and sunk into the depths of the sea.

"I'm not the original Ion," the Fon Master admitted to me, "…but you don't seem that surprised by it."

"I have seen Sync's true face," I explained to him.

"Yes…I presume you are also suspicious of Luke being a replica as well?"

"It's practically obvious."

"Not as obvious as you," Ion joked and I chuckled. We continued to talk, sharing serious stories along with some laughs, until the sky became completely covered in darkness and the only thing illuminating the planet was the moon and stars twinkling down at us.

From our conversations, I discovered that Ion's innocent, naïve nature was just a mask he put on to deceive people into underestimating him. It allowed him to do things behind Mohs' back and not get caught. He was quite knowledgeable of fomicry and was aware of Jade's part in based on his readings on the subject.

Then again, doesn't everyone wear a mask? Unless you knew the person very intimately, not in a romantic manner but understanding absolutely everything about an individual, which I hold the belief that it is practically impossible to achieve this, then it would be hard to discern between their mask and true face.

I had not realized how long the two of us had been standing out on the dock until Jade came to check on us, more so the Fon Master than me, and advised us to get some sleep. He teased me about it being past my bedtime, to which I uttered out proclamations of being an adult.

Then, the colonel changed his words into that it is improper for a lady, such as myself, to be out at this kind of hour. I merely giggled that I am not that much of a lady and the two both agreed on our way to the inn.

* * *

_Standing alone inside the hall of mirrors. Multiple reflections of myself gazing back at me._

"_Can you pick which one is real?" a deep chuckling voice utters over a speaker._

"_But, I'm real," I reply and his laughter only gets louder until I can no longer hear my own voice screaming._


	11. Ch 11: Confrontation

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.

**Additional Warnings**: Mindscrewery. By this point, I think that it is a permanent warning now.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: Surprisingly, I got this chapter out pretty quickly when I had a couple rough spots in the previous chapters. I am getting worried that at the rate I am going at, this fic _might _get close to 100,000 words by time it's finished (story alone, without my notes). This kinda scares me. I may write but I do not consider myself a writer. Just like how I may doodle or draw but I never call myself an artist. The reason being is that I'm poor at both. I'm not delusional about my abilities and I know how flawed my writing is. And I'm grateful for those that have stuck by this story in spite of that.

Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_A wolf in a sheep's clothing or is it a sheep in wolf's clothing?_

_When what you thought to be a real face turned out to be a façade instead,_

_how can you trust anything anymore?_

_Yet, you cannot even believe in yourself, lost in the darkness._

* * *

**Chapter 11: Confrontation**

* * *

Unlike the previous occasion of staying the night at an inn, I was the first one awake this time. The inn was basically one big room with a bunch of beds aligned along two opposite beds and a communal restroom separated by gender in the back end. There were ten beds in total, five on each side. It was decided that the girls would take one side as the boys would take the other.

Anise laid on the bed farthest from as Tear slept in the middle bed. For the guy's side, Luke was placed between Guy's and Van's bed then Jade and Ion. Luke laid on his back, with his limbs up in the air like a dog, snoring loudly as Guy had his head buried in the pillows, presumably to shield him from Luke's loud noises.

I blinked when finally looked at the Commandant, who was propped up on the bed, and noticed that his eyes were wide open.

"Creep," I mumbled and he just raised an eyebrow before rising out of the bed to pull me by the arm.

"Go away and put some pants on while you're at it," I snarled at him in a hushed tone, not wanting to wake up any of the others. He ignored me, dragging me out of the inn into the cold morning air. The coldness covered my entire body yet I did not shiver as I was a creature of the cold. I welcomed its cold embrace. Van stopped moving until we stood in between two buildings, away from the inn.

"I don't want you to talk but listen to me," and to reaffirm his point, Van shoved a sock into my mouth. I glared at him as I gagged on the cotton material. I hated the taste of fabric in my mouth, it just plain revolted me.

"I will look over your past transgressions as long as you heed my orders from now on. At Akzeriuth, I want you to make sure that no one stops Luke from coming to me, no matter what the cost is. Do you understand?" I spat out the sock to the ground.

"Alright, but how are you so certain that Luke and the others will be sent to the mining city?"

"King Ingobert will have no choice but to force his hand in the matter as long as he wishes to obediently follow the Score. It's pathetic really how predictable that man is."

"And so you imply that your world is much better than that of those blinded by the Score?"

"Why do you resist and protest so much? I can tell that you despise the Score just like me."

"Perhaps, but I am nothing like you. Your land will be built upon a mountain of corpses, from unnecessary deaths of countless innocents. I will never embrace such methods."

"You're just a child. That's the sacrifice that must be paid for peace and harmony. Nothing is absolutely free in this world."

"Oh, yes, it's alright killing people if we can just replace them with replicas, right?" I sarcastically retorted, throwing my arms out in frustration.

"I don't care as to what you think as long as you serve your purposes," Van turned around and left me without another word as anger welled up inside of me, to the point that my body started shaking uncontrollably.

I have to find a way to save the citizens of Akzeriuth or I will be just as responsible for their deaths.

Moments later, I calmed myself down and decided that I should find some new clothes after Anise ruined my top back at Choral Castle. Pulling out my small pouch that I stored gald in, I discovered that it was empty since I had spent most of it on healing items for the party.

In other words, I was too poor to afford anything. Looks like I might have to resort to stealing. Oh well, it's not like I haven't done anything worst than that.

An Oracle guard caught my eyes as he ran by. I remembered the distinctive robes that they wore with blue, white, and brown patterns. Curious as to why an Oracle guard was doing out here alone, I followed the soldier out of the naval base until he spotted me.

"Who the hell are you!" he demanded and I smirked in an attempt to intimidate him. The guard brought his tuning fork shaped staff in front of himself defensively.

"Aww…is the little Oracle Knight afraid of a woman?" I taunted him and as I hoped, he took the bait and charged at me. As he approached, I grabbed the staff in the guard's hand and hit him over the head with it, knocking him to the ground.

"Thanks for the clothing donation.~ I really appreciate it," I said as I removed the uniform from his unconscious body. Before retuning back to the naval base, I inspected the pockets of the uniform to find a bag of gald, some gels, and a note.

I unfolded the note and read it quickly, after popping a lemon gel into my mouth. I was not injured in any way but I loved the tastes of lemons. My parents found it funny while I was a baby to stick a lemon into my mouth, laugh at my funny reactions I made as I spit it out then it put it back in to suck on the sour fruit some more. Hence, I grew up with a fondness for the flavor of lemons.

It was a message from Anise meant for the Grand Maestro. I guess the Oracle guard was going to send it out to Mohs when we got the chance but it seems that I stopped him on his way to do so.

Mostly, the note talked about the recent events at Choral Castle and the plans to go to Baticul per a brief stop in Chesedonia. However, there was a small portion that mentioned me and how I could be a potential threat, since she could not be certain of my loyalty towards any party.

I decided to pocket the note for now, unsure of what to do with this evidence.

I pulled the guard's uniform over my body before I entered the inn. It was a close fit, the outfit was only slighter bigger than myself. Everybody looked at me, fully awake and dressed properly, when I opened the inn's door.

Anise threw me a suspicious look, probably from the outfit I was wearing, but said nothing. Ion looked curious as well but he gave me a look that said he would ask later.

"I think that's the first time I ever seen you in proper uniform," Van chuckled at his lie.

"Seeing as my civilian clothes were destroyed, I had no choice in the matter," I responded as I pulled the long dark blue gloves as far back as possible on my arms, ignoring the glare Anise gave me.

"My, how many regulations have you broken as an Oracle Knight?" Jade teased.

"Quite a lot, actually."

"What the hell does Master Van see in you! How did you become his assistant?" Luke exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm quite curious. You have never told us the story of how you became the Commandant's assistant," Guy spoke up.

"It certainly wasn't her fighting abilities. You can't even use fonic artes properly!" the idiot taunted me but I just rolled my eyes at him.

"That was uncalled for," Tear scolded him.

"It's alright, Tear. Unlike Luke, I am quite adept at listening to the truth about myself. Flaws included," I retorted in a Jade-like manner but not exactly on par with his wit.

"I think the colonel is rubbing off on her…" Guy sighed as Luke threw a tantrum, cursing at me, and had to be restrained by Van.

An half hour later, we boarded the Katsbert Ferry. Because of the sheer size of the sea vessel, everyone was able to have their own, private room. The cabins were spread out across three floors. On the first floor closest to the deck were Anise, Ion, and Van. Below that on the second floor was Luke, Guy, and Tear until finally on the last floor was Jade and me.

Each cabin was equipped with a standard bed, desk, table, and personal bathroom. Anise, Tear, Guy, and I were standing out on the deck with space between us for privacy. Jade was staying in his cabins to read a book as Ion was resting in his.

I stood closest to the area of the deck that Van was going to meet Luke at. I looked down over the railing watching the waves crash against the side of the ship. It had been years since I last been on a ship. I went on one down the river on a sight seeing ride before I started college and, before that was my first time, down on another ship on the Mississippi River that had a show with a pretty well known comedian over dinner.

"Man, is everyone out here?" I heard Luke say from behind, causing me to turn to face him.

"What would you do if you found out that all you knew was a lie?" I regarded him seriously, thoughts of Akzeriuth ever so consuming my thoughts.

"Huh? Why would someone lie?" he crossed his arms in deep thought.

"But what if someone did? Would you still trust them even after the wool is pulled back from your eyes?"

"You're weird. Why would you think about things like that?"

"Not everyone is kind or trustworthy. Many times people put on a mask permeating false hope or deception maliciously," I lowered my gaze. I was one of those very people. And whatever fate waited for me in the afterlife from that, I will embrace willingly so long as I am able to drag down all the others with me into the depths of hell.

"Even so, I would trust them until I was able to figure out for myself the right course of action," Luke replied and my mouth opened in shock. For this brief moment, I thought that it was short-haired Luke standing before me and not the ignorant replica.

"You worry too much. Just trust me, ok?" Luke smiled as he patted me on the shoulder, while I was still in shock, before walking away to meet Van. I sputtered as he left, unable to make heads or tails of what just happened.

I could tell that we had reached the Chesedonia harbor as the temperature suddenly became extremely hot, despite some of the coolness radiating off of the water. Already, I was sweating quite heavily in my newfound uniform.

"I need to hand Arietta over to the inspector. So, we will part ways for now," Van spoke as soon as we departed from the ship into the desert city.

"But, Master Van, I want you to accompany us!" Luke whined.

"Don't worry. I'll meet back up with you in Baticul," the Commandant ruffled his hair.

"Tear, look after Luke," he said before leaving us in the market area. Over the sand stood various stalls of wood selling weapons, armor, items, and jewelry with cloth hanging above on pillars as a false ceiling to protect the merchants from the scorching sun.

As soon as we took a couple of steps deeper into the market, we encountered Noir. She sauntered right over to Luke and held his chin flirtatiously.

"Hey, sweet thing," I saw her hand sneak back and snatched Luke's wallet while he was distracted the provocatively dressed woman in front of him. Anise fumed over an older lady stealing her prospective rich suitor while I saw Guy drooling a bit, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Back off and return his wallet before I report you the authorities. I'm sure that they would love to apprehend the elusive Dark Wings leader," I sent Noir a glare as I crossed my arms and she just chuckled.

"Jealous, chubby?" the Dark Wings woman taunted about my weight.

"How mature. Are you still in grade school? I don't have time for games, bitch," I reached out my hand in demand waiting for her to return the stolen wallet.

"Fheh," Noir huffed and tried to walk away until Tear blocked her way. York and Urushi, her faithful sidekicks, suddenly appear to back up their leader.

"You've some balls to challenge the Dark Wings like that," York said crudely, reluctantly handing the wallet to Tear. Satisfied, Tear stepped out of the way to let the Dark Wings go.

"Those jerks. Don't they cause enough problems!" Luke yelled as Tear returned his wallet.

"You only have yourself to blame. By the way, why did you just stand there, colonel?" Tear implored.

"Oh? I just thought it would be entertaining…" Jade shrugs with that smile on his face. We then headed towards the Kimlascan side of Chesedonia to talk with the consulate. Luke took the lead, seemingly regaining his eagerness to return home, while I leisurely strolled behind in the rear.

"Have you noticed a change in Luke at all?" I spoke to Ion, who was walking beside me, as I recalled the odd conversation with Luke on the ferry. The Fon Master was the only person I could confide in at the moment as I was not close to any of the others yet.

"Not particularly. Why?"

"It's nothing. I'm guessing that I'm just imagining things again," I shrugged it off and Ion sighed. As we passed by the local tavern that also doubled as an inn, I looked twice when I spotted a glimpse of something through the window.

Long violet hair which most likely belonged to Cantabile. I quickly mumbled words to the Fon Master before I took off running into the tavern. Huffing air in heavily and trying to catch my breath, I froze when Cantabile was nowhere in sight.

"Wh…at..?" I panted out.

* * *

_The walls of my prison were a dull white colored tile. Filth covered it, a sign that the walls had not been cleaned in years. I was chained to the cold metal surface of a table. Wires and an IV were attached to my aching body as I took in the sight of various medical equipment, for what purposes they served I had no idea._

_The lab coat lady looked at me with a clipboard in her hands through a two way mirror. She reached for a microphone in her room when she noticed my alert state._

"_It's like night and day with you, isn't it?"_

"_Your jokes aren't amusing," I spat out and her laughter echoed through the speakers._

_This was all just a game to them, toying with people's lives without a care. But it will all change when my secret weapon reaches maturity. _

_Until then, I will grit my teeth and bear with the pain and the taunts of my captors._

_Until…I awake…_

* * *

"Are you lookin' for somebody, miss?" the heavy accent of one of the customers brought me out of my thoughts. He looked up at me from his card game with another patron.

"Oh. I thought I saw somebody I know but it turns out that they were not here after all. Thanks, though."

"No problem. May Yulia protect you," he tipped his hat at me. I thought his comment was odd until I remembered the Oracle guard uniform I was wearing.

"And you, too," I bid the man farewell to catch up with the party.

* * *

_Somewhere deep inside, there is another me slumbering within my body. She is not yet ripe to emerge back into the world, so I was born to be her scapegoat in the meantime._

_Our memories, emotions, and appearances are exactly the same, as if we were twins. But our strength is not._

_I had carried her on the back of my shoulders, allowing her own hands to be clean, free of taint while I took it into my own hands. _

_But this cannot last forever._

_I was never meant to replace the original. So that is why we must become one or all hope is lost._


	12. Interlude: Late Night Drinking Games

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Legend of Zelda and its characters belongs to Nintendo. Additional legal disclaimer at the end.

**Additional Warnings**: None.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: No, this is not chapter 12 but an interlude I thought up of. It's mostly humor with some chunks of seriousness. I don't know if there will be any more of these in the future. This one takes place right after the events of chapter 10. Btw, if anyone has not noticed yet, I have been posting the status of this fic along with upcoming ideas on my profile if you are interested.

Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_Even standing in the path of a fierce maelstrom upon a small water vessel,_

_All options ending in nothing but death, do you continue to shut yourself from reality?_

_Close your eyes and wish it all away as you may but one day you might not be able to open them again._

* * *

**Interlude: Late Night "Drinking" Games**

* * *

Ion and I followed the colonel back to the small inn of the Kaitzur Naval Base and everyone was sitting around on the beds, wide awake. Silence was awkwardly permeating the room.

"Well, how about we play a game to pass the time if everyone is so restless?" Jade pulled out a couple of bottles out of his pockets. It must be expansive like Link's pouch. Seriously, how can he keep all of those items on him?

Magic, I suppose…

"Alright, I'm in. But what do you have in mind?" Guy said with just a small bit of reluctance. There was no knowing what the colonel would have in store for us.

"I bought some sparkling cider, since we have some minors in the group, and thought we could play a drinking game of sorts," Jade placed the bottles down onto the middle of the wooden floor.

"A drinking game?" Luke inquired. Yeah, I doubt he would have knowledge of such sorts of things. Besides, who would he play it with? The maids and Guy?

"An icebreaker of sorts. I think it would be good since some of us barely know each other. What game though?" Guy vaguely explained, though it did not really answer his question.

"How about truth and dare? The dare option, instead of an actual dare, will require the person to consume a glass of the cider."

"What's the catch? Don't tell me that you're spiking it with poison. I don't have any cure or poison bottles on me. It's bad enough that I had to spend so much gald on restocking our gel supply." Even armed with a bow in battle, I was not much of a help in the fighting so I became the designated item user, using items when necessary on the others if Tear was too caught up to cast an healing arte in time or if she ran out of strength.

I was pretty good at evading the monsters' attacks and creating enough distance to find the appropriate gel and get it to the party member without much trouble. Though, my bow was not totally forgotten but it played only a minor role and it will probably decrease even more when Natalia joins the party.

"Of course not. It's nothing nearly that dangerous.~" he grinned and a ice cold chill shot down my spine.

"I don't want to know. Sometimes, it's better not knowing at all," I threw my hands dramatically up into the air in an act of surrender.

'_Fheh. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?' _the spirit inside of me chuckled.

"Then, who's up for some excitement? Let's make a circle around the bottles on the floor." Everyone joined in, except for Ion who remained seated on his bed. I was mildly surprised that Van joined us.

"Alright, I believe that I shall begin. Lia, truth or dare?" Jade smirks at me. There is no way I am going to pick truth with that look on his face.

"I rather take the cider," Jade nodded and poured some of the beverage into a glass. I was thirsty from my long conversation with Ion so I drank it pretty fast while all eyes were observing me, waiting for my reaction.

"It tastes a little weird but I don't feel sick or anything," I could tell that there was something odd in the liquid but I could not identify it. As of the moment, I did not feel nauseated or dizzy. Though, a bad feeling loomed in my gut.

"Alright then, Guy you know the deal," I looked at the Fabre servant sitting across from me.

"Hmm…how about truth?" he rubbed his chin with his hand in thought.

"Okay…umm…what's your type of woman?" I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"My, Lia, how bold," Jade teased me.

"What? I didn't mean it like that!" I blushed a deep crimson to match Asch's hair and hid my face behind my hands in embarrassment.

"It's alright. Don't let Jade get to you," Guy said and I felt someone pat me on the shoulder. Tear sat to my left while Luke was on the right. I was not sure which one it was.

Tear and I did not talk too much, though she remained polite towards me. There was occasions that the hymnist had asked me for some assistance in brushing her extremely long hair when at the inn for the night.

* * *

"_Lia…" Tear spoke softly, after she put on her nightgown, and turned towards me._

"_Yes?" I laid out on the bed I picked out for the night with my belly facing down and my legs bent back from the knees, kicking them back and forth sporadically. My neck twisted uncomfortably as I went to make eye contact._

"_Would mind assisting me with my hair?" she held an oval shape comb in her hand._

"_Sure," I replied as I rose up to sitting on the bed on my knees before climbing off. Tear sat back on her bed beside mine and I climbed up to sit behind her. Once I was situated, she handed me the comb._

"_I don't have much issue with the top portion. It's just that I can't reach the bottom," Tear admitted to me as I ran a finger through her hair to see what it was like before I combed it. There was a couple of knots but other than that, I was jealous of how soft and thick her hair was. _

_My hair was quite deceiving. It gives off the impression of being thick when it's actually thin and it becomes apparent when my hair is soaking wet and it clings to my head after a shower. _

"_How do you normally handle it?" I asked as I started to comb gently as I was afraid to pull her hair on accident._

* * *

As for my relationship with Luke, all we did was argue most of the time. Most of our conversations ended with either Tear or Guy separating us.

"Well, I'm interested in the smart and pretty type. Though, I am not that picky as I appreciate all kinds of woman," Guy revealed.

"So, you do have a chance after all, Lia," Jade grinned.

"Don't be such a troll!" I shouted at him. I was not interested in any of the guys like that. Here or in real life.

I just did not care much for relationships at all as a result of my asocial personality. I preferred solitude and independence. And that is how I became so distant from the people that I once called my friends back home.

It's not that I did not enjoy hanging out or talking with them but I liked being alone so much more. And I never grew too close to anybody because I knew that the friendship would not last. Because eventually, the walls I put up myself would grow so tall that it would break us apart.

There was no one to blame but myself. I shunned away friendships and reality to instead hide instead the worlds created by books, anime, and video games.

"Troll…?" Luke blinked and I received other confused looks as well but I did not answer them.

"So Anise? Which one will you pick?"

"Oh, I think that I will just have the cider," Anise drank the cup offered to her by the colonel and seemed fine as well.

"So then, Tear?" Anise grinned deviously.

"Umm…truth…" the hymnist answered hesitantly.

"What's your bra size?"

"Anise!" Tear and I, forgetting that I currently was not on speaking terms with the Fon Master Guardian, shouted in shock while Guy laughed nervously. Luke blushed a bit and Van pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. Oh my, more information about his sister that he does not need to know. How awkward…

"I don't think you should make her answer that…" Guy scolded.

"C'mon! I know that everybody is dying to know!"

"Speak for yourself. Besides, if you are that desperate, you could of just looked at one of her bras when she was not looking to find that out," I shook my head.

"Oh, do you speak from experience?" Jade joked.

"No!"

"Moving onwards. Tear, you are under no obligation to answer it and let's continue. And let's try not to ask such embarrassing things," Van interrupted to defend his sister.

"Boo! You're no fun!" Anise pouted and the Commandant just glared at her.

"Anyways, Luke, which will you pick?" Tear asked him.

"Truth, I guess."

"Umm…what's your favorite color?"

"Boring! Is that all you can come up with? You all are party poopers!" Anise continued to pout until Guy nudged her.

"Let's see…probably blue. Master Van!" Luke then called upon the Commandant.

"I will take a glass," he raised an eyebrow as he sipped the cider but did not comment on the substance.

The game continued for more than an hour, which Ion had eventually fallen asleep during that time. I refused to answer any questions during the game but as I consumed more and more of the cider, I started to get a small buzz in my head.

Anise and Van seemed to be in a similar state as well. Anise was holding her head up, giggling loudly, while Van kept wiping his forehead. We were the only ones that drank the cider.

"Why does my head feel so weird…?" then a loud hiccup escaped my mouth before I could contain it.

"Oh my, it seems I may have accidentally purchased alcohol instead of sparkling cider," Jade revealed calmly as he inspected one of the empty bottles. The light shined off his glasses, hiding his eyes.

"Colonel!" Tear said horrified.

"You mean that Lia, Anise and Van are drunk…" Guy sighed.

"Anise is a minor, too!"

"Isn't Lia underage too?" Luke asked.

"Hmm…not anymore…probably…" For all I know, my 21st birthday might have already passed back home and I had no way to double check.

"Hehehe…but I'm a big girl!" Anise giggled some more before passing out, face down onto the floor.

"I think the lesson here is to never play any sort of game with Jade. I should have known better…" I groaned. Thankfully because of my fat, the alcohol did not affect me as much as Anise. Van probably was not affected that much either.

"I'm going to sleep this off now. I better not have a hangover when I wake up in the morning. Good night," I crashed onto my assigned bed, not bothering with the blanket.

"I think that was a threat," Guy mumbled and the last thing I heard was Jade laughing before I fell asleep.

* * *

Luke has earned the title, "First Time Partier".

Tear has earned the title, "Mysterious Cup Size".

Guy has earned the title, "Equal Opportunity Women Appreciator".

Anise has earned the title, "Mature at Heart".

Van has earned the title, "Overprotective Brother".

Lia has earned the title, "Panty Watcher".

Jade has earned the title, "Why so Serious?"

Ion has earned the title, "Sleepyhead".

* * *

_The authoress does not condone underage drinking in any way. Fiction is meant to be fiction. Please obey and respect your region's laws._


	13. Ch 12: Baring the Soul

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco. Nor does she claim Legend of Zelda, which belongs to Nintendo.

**Additional Warnings**: Remember the warning about mindscrewery? Also, don't take Lia's words for face value all the time.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: I had considered ending the fic here but it would be too soon. No, the characters have not nearly progressed enough to allow them a conclusion just yet. So far, this was the hardest chapter to write to the point that I wanted to pull my hair out. The opening for this chapter is inspired by Alice's words in Tales of Symphonia: DotNW where she confronts the party in Palmacosta. It's such a beautiful, powerful scene and her words resonate well with this fic.

Thanks to Random Reviewer for avidly reviewing. One of my goals for this fic is to portray the characters in a different light. Ion is just the first of many to come. Ah, yes, Akzeiruth is going to be interesting...As for interludes, I have an idea for at least one more involving the Keterburg Spa sidequest. However, I am up for suggestions for any other ideas. Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

_Why does a songbird accept the metal bars ensnaring it inside of its cage?_

_Glancing through the bars, freedom seems to be waiting beyond it._

_But upon the knowledge of escaping one prison will only end but in another cell,_

_Neither option is acceptable._

_The new question is: how does one stop this chain of events from repeating continuously, that appears without end? So long as you remain as you are, it will stay unchanged and unchallenged._

_What must change is not the walls of the prison…but you._

* * *

**Chapter 12: Baring the Soul**

* * *

I speed walked towards the Kimlascan consulate but when I arrived no one from the party was in sight. I did not think that I took up so much time inside of the tavern. And I did not have the energy to head to Astor's manor to start a search for them as the sun was in full force upon me, sweat pouring down my face and dripping off my hands. I leaned against a nearby stone wall of a house to catch my breath, glaring up at the clear blue sky for its unbearable sun.

My mind was hazy from exhaustion by time I finally caught glimpse of Luke and the others moments later with Sync chasing after in hot pursuit. I heard Luke shout for the ship to start moving and my legs reacted a little too late.

I was a couple feet behind Sync, who stopped at the end of the dock as Luke jumped onto the ship. Oddly optimistic and perhaps foolishly, I lifted my feet forward to hopefully cross the watery gap but instead I plummeted straight down into the water. My fall was like an angel that just had its wings suddenly ripped off its back.

A loud splash and I immediately swim up to the surface, thankful that I knew how to swim. The water was rather refreshing but my clothes were now completely soaked, weighing down my body. From above me, I heard Sync howling in laughter at my antics. I glared at him as I pulled myself back onto the dock by grabbing onto the wooden plank and lifting my weight up out of the water. Dist pulled up beside the laughing God General in his floating chair.

"They managed to escape," Sync informed him, recovering from his hysterics.

"Without you, apparently," Dist looked at me with mild amusement. Why does everyone take such amusement in my suffering? Ignoring him, I twisted my hair with my hands to get as much water as possible before I stripped down until I was just in my tank top and pants.

"You're just a failure. I don't understand why the Commandant thinks he can make use of you," Sync sneered at me, like I was an insignificant bug on the bottom of his shoe.

"Why don't you look in the mirror if you are looking for rejects," I retorted bitingly.

"Why you little bitch-," his shoulders tensed as he spat out venomously but was held back from attacking me by the other God General.

"She's hardly worth the effort. Now, leave the rest to me, the fabulous Dist the Rose. I shall finish them with my extraordinary, gorgeous artes," Sync scowled as he walked away.

"Thanks," I muttered, thinking of how I was going to rejoin the others.

"I was just returning the favor. Though, if you keep acting with a smart ass tongue like that, you are going to find yourself dead pretty soon," he warned me in a scolding tone.

"Geez, I already got a lecture from the Fon Master, you know…And why does Jade get away with being an asshole?" I crossed my arms.

"Jade can defend himself properly and frankly, most people are terrified of what he could do. The title of Necromancer instills fearful images for many," Dist frowned slightly.

"Anyways, I better get going before they get too far ahead," he sat back down on his floating chair.

"Wait, take me with you," I spoke up hesitantly before Dist could take off after the ferry.

"Why? You could run now and escape Van's schemes. Don't you want freedom from the chains he has put upon you? Isn't that what you really desire?"

What…What do I truly want?

* * *

_I have wanted many things in my life, most were minor and insignificant wishes such as having the latest video game console or the complete series of my favorite anime. They were all material objects, things I could ultimately live without if the need should arise._

_In high school, I wished for the day of my graduation to come so that I could escape of the horrid people that tormented me, making myself miserable. However, stupid was I to believe that college would be any better. Rather than my tormenters existing within the classroom, they moved to occupying the house with me._

_Put on a fake smile and hide all traces of anger. Never act upon on your impulses or it's done. I rather have my body pelted constantly by stones than to endure any longer of putting up mental shields all the time. To act like a flawless human being when I know all to well that I have my faults._

_Nobody is perfect then why should I pretend? Why must I act like I have love for those that I despise with all of my being? The constant burden upon my shoulders makes my throat constrict for air, wanting to breathe in oxygen desperately. I wanted to be free of this place, the haven created in my mind is no longer enough to placate me._

_I rather go into debt, financial ruin, to live in solitude free of such burdens than spend another moment inside of this wretched house that is suffocating my being. _

_Just another day on the dirty city bus, the forgotten Japanese textbook splayed out on my lap, and I wish to be anywhere else in the world but here. I want to jump out of the bus window, spontaneously grow wings, and fly towards freedom. Leaving behind everything just like another bad memory to be forgotten._

_I would willingly deal with any other hardship in my life so long as I was able to escape from those that had clipped my long, feathery wings and forced me to act like another person for their precious sentiment of feelings. I was forced to bury the person of who I used to call myself deep inside under so many locks and keys for their sake while I continue on lifelessly. The fire gone from my words, the conviction of my dreams fleeting from my body._

_A mere shell without its soul. A person that has fallen asleep and refuses to wake up back into reality._

_I feel the impact of the collision when it happens, my body crushing against the railing in front of me, but I am not there as darkness falls before my eyes. Then, she appears before me, out from the emptiness, inviting with that smile of faith and confidence. _

_She is the one that I locked inside of myself and forgotten about. She engulfs me in her warm arms beckoning me to sleep for now until I find myself, the strength that I long hid away._

_There is only one thing that I truly wish for. And only I can grant it. _

* * *

"I can't keep running away from everything. Hiding will not solve anything," I dig my heels down on the dock reaffirming myself as Dist's eyes go wide at my words. I can almost feel the fire finally burning in my chest for the first time in years. Where had I lost it?

"Indeed…" he said softly as I took a seat on the armrest of his chair since it would be rather inappropriate for me to sit on his lap. Besides, I would crush him with my weight if I sat on him. Hmm…maybe I should trying to defeating my enemies by smothering them with my weight?

Or perhaps not, as I thought about it some more. I wasn't that big.

The ride on the way to the ferry was silent. I was too busy thinking of how to explain myself to the others as I desperately clung onto the back of the chair to make sure that I did not fall off and Dist appeared to be preoccupied by something as well. He landed the chair on the front of the deck, letting me jump down onto the wooden paneling. As I glanced around while I remained where I was standing, Dist pulled out a small robot that I recognized as Barrelow X from a hidden compartment in the bottom of his chair, underneath the seat.

"What's that for?" I asked, curious to why he had the robot steal the fonstone of the ferry in the first place when his goal was to retrieve the stolen fon disc.

"Rather than waste my energy searching for them, I will have them come to me," he issued some commands on a keypad on the back before sending it off. The robot took off quickly, which surprised me considering its short, mechanical legs.

Moments later, I could hear Luke shouting at the robot as he gave chase on the deck and soon followed by a huge splash of the robot diving into the water. I turned to Dist but he had vanished, perhaps hiding himself until the right moment

"Lia? Aww, I thought you got left behind in Chesedonia," I heard Anise say as she pouted in disappointment.

"How did you get on here? Luke said that you fell into the water," Jade questioned me with narrowed eyes. Without telling the truth, I did not know how to answer that.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Dist started laughing, though it resembled cackling, at the most inappropriate time, finally making his presence known to the others. I could see Jade's eye start twitching and glancing back at me, he had a look on his face that he figured out the answer to his question.

"Now, listen here. I am the glorious and the most gorgeous of the God Generals. I am Dist the Rose," he proclaimed and I practically sweat dropped at how cheesy it was. Dist sure had a flare for dramatics.

"Oh, my, it's Dist the Runny!" Jade teased, despite his teeth showing in anger.

"No! It's Rose! Why can't you people get it right!" he shook his arms in frustration like a child having a tantrum.

"You mean Reaper…" Anise supplied.

"No! No! I refuse to accept such a hideous name for someone as beautiful as myself!" I sighed at his boastful retort. I actually pitied him. I think the only reason behind his motivations for wanting to reviving Nebilim and thus joining Van to help achieve that, through access to replica information, is plain and simple loneliness.

The good old "Golden Age", as he called it. Back then, he was surrounded by people that cared about him, or thought they did in the case of Jade, for it is hard to dissect that man's true feelings for anybody.

But who does he have now? The professor is long dead, Jade has long abandoned fomicry thus furthering the distance between the two, Peony has taken the Malkuth throne, and Nephry acts as the governor of Keterburg. And as for any familial relationships, none are ever shown so I have always presumed that he was an orphan.

His loneliness twisting his personality so much, that it makes him seem like a crazed madman. His only possible companionship is found through the fontech robots he has created but it is not nearly enough.

By seeking to resurrect Nebilim, he desires to end his solitude.

"Wait, you know this creep?" Luke tilts his head, perplexed.

"You rude little- I'm not a creep!" Dist continued to shout.

"Well, I'm an Oracle Knight, too…But, how do you know him, colonel?" Anise answered, ignoring the God General.

"Fheh, I, at one time, used to consider that beastly Jade one of my friends," Dist responded scornfully.

"Oh, that must have been some other Jade. I would never count such pests as a friend," I could see a small look of hurt in the God General's eyes in reaction to Jade's comment, though he covered it well.

"What?" he said with a look that could kill. Their bickering always made me giggle, thinking that they argued like an old married couple, and I could not help myself as the sound escaped from my mouth. This earned me some stares but it perhaps just written off as just me being silly again.

"Now, now, you don't want your nose to start running. You know how you can't control it when you get so worked up," Somehow, this always invoked images in my mind of the kid in Wind Waker who has the large snot coming out of his nose. And that kid would follow Link if he got close and, perhaps being too dramatic, I would yell for Link to run away before the snot smothered him to death with its mystical powers.

My, I have such a wild imagination, which is probably too distracting as I had not realized that the party had already entered the battle with Dist's Kaiser robot while I stood dumbly before the machine, right in the line of fire of any fonic artes.

"Lia! Get out of the way!" I heard Jade shout as he start casting one of his water artes. I ran as fast as I could towards the railing, feeling the rush of water run behind me towards its target. Taking a deep breath, I leaned my back against the railing of the deck as I watched the fight progress helplessly.

"How does it feel to be stripped of power? Or perhaps, you are too used to it. Unable to change anything around you," taunting words were whispered to my right ear. Shocked, I turned to find Cantabile standing next to me.

"How…?" I gasped.

"The mind alone is capable of many things that can bend all rules of common logic."

"You…you are not real," I managed to utter out. All the times that I have seen her, no one else had caught a glimpse of her. Proof of her presence, nonexistent. Am I delusional? Is my own mind playing tricks on me?

"Oh? I'm just as real as everything else before you here," she smirked at me. And as soon as the Sixth Division Commander appeared, she vanished yet again, like a mirage in a desert. My mind even more muddled than before.

* * *

I can be ascertain of nothing. And with no solid ground, a foundation cannot be formed. Each brick for the building placed upon it will eventually come tumbling down, back to nothingness.

A universe away from home and a phantom appearing before my eyes, what am I to believe?

My vision goes black, the images of the victorious party and the ferry escaping away as my extended hand fails to grasp a hold of anything. I sob as I fall to my knees as I am scared, confused, and alone.

There are no voices beckoning to me or mysterious entities from inside my body appearing before me for guidance. I seem to be floating on a vast abyss of nothingness.

Is it endless? I wonder as I climb back onto my feet. I will never know unless I find out for myself. I take small, deliberate steps in no particular direction, puzzled as to how I am defying gravity.

I continue, lured in when I notice a light off in the distance. With no idea of where it leads, I chase after it as it is better than just sitting around and doing nothing.

As I draw closer and closer, an image materializes of a field of flowers with a dirt road running down the center. I am perplexed by the odorless flowers by it does not deter me from following the dirt path until I reach a fork in the road. A wooden post sticks up with arrows. The sign labeled 'right' is pointed in the left direction as 'left' marks the right.

Clearly, this is some sort of trap to deceive me into going in the wrong direction. I briefly consider the possibilities before I chose neither path and head on straight over the bed of flowers. The heads flattening underneath the weight of my boots.

The colors are dizzying as if it were a massive watercolor painting. Red, white, blue, yellow, purple, green and pink littered across everywhere. What I presume to be the sky above me is clear blue with no clouds in sight or a sun for that matter.

Soon, the flowers are covered by snow as I walk on until I stop when I am greeted by another wooden stake sticking up from the earth. I am horrified to discover that there is a person tied to it by corded rope. The face is obscured by a black bag.

I rush to untie the knots, throwing the unleashed rope behind me. I support the person's weight as I lowered them to the ground. I freeze dead in my place as I toss off the bag as the realization of the individual's identity hits me.

It is me. Her eyes suddenly snap open and grabs my throat, choking me.

"Why have you forsaken me!" she demands angrily.

"I…" I cough, unable to form words due to suffocation. Am I to die like Narcissus? He pursued after his own reflection thinking to be a lover and as he sought to embrace him, he drowned chasing after himself. Now, the hands of my self seek to end me.

"Fight back! Stop acting like a pathetic weakling!"

Why am I weak? Is it because I had forced myself to abandon my own hatred, the very thing that spurned me on to achieve, chase after my goals?

No, I never truly abandoned my anger. It is not as strong as before, but it was still there faintly, waiting for it to explode into an enormous eruption.

Indeed, there is only thing I wish for and only I, and I alone, can grant it.

So, let anger course my veins and turn everyone else against me if need be. Despite how despicable it is, that hate is a part of me. Hate would not exist if we did not know the meaning of love. They are tied by an in-severable thread and I have destroyed myself by attempting to do so.

No longer will I allow anyone else's whims to force me to do so.

She then smiles at me, her hands cease choking my throat, and she dissipates in the air into tiny balls of light that surround my body. Have I found myself at last? I am unsure as I still see more terrain laying out in front of me. But, at least now, I have newfound hope.

* * *

_A retrieval of what had been lost. But is it what had really been lost in the first place?_

_You discover your misplaced item to only learn that it had never left your side._

_It was always there but you could not see it, blinded by the mask of what others wanted you to believe of yourself._

_Now, finally free from their taint, do you see it at last?_


	14. Ch 13: Seeds of Distrust

**Disclaimer**: Otaku-Sage-of-Llamas does not claim to own Tales of the Abyss and its characters. Rather that privilege belongs to Bandai-Namco.

**Authoress' Other Notes**: I am so sorry for taking so long to update. If you have looked at my profile, you should have an idea why. Long story short, I am swamped this semester and the class that is giving me trouble is one I need in order to graduate. But anyways, here is chapter 13, a bit short but complete.

Thanks to Random Reviewer (In a way, yes, Cantabile is talking about that. But her words hold multiple meanings to it as much do everything else in this fic.), The Fools Arcana, and Sapphire-sama Dreamer for reviewing. Again, thanks go to everyone that has taken the time to read and/or favorite this story. It means a lot to me.

* * *

**Awakening**

* * *

"_How much longer until the cocoon fades away…?" I pondered as I lifted my head up in search of a window to look through inside of my cell. However, such comforts of a connection to the outside world were lacking here. No melodic chirping of songbirds nor the gentle rustling of leaves could reach me here. Only the cold, hard sound of boots clinking upon the cement floors as the guards made their routine patrols across the compound made it to my ears. My fists clench the bars and I let out a desperate, animalistic growl._

* * *

**Chapter 13: Seeds of Distrust**

* * *

A loud splash off in the distance reached my ears as the Kaiser Dist robot was sent flying overboard and I smiled secretly to myself, knowing that it was not over yet for the flamboyant God General.

"He'll be back eventually. How unfortunate," Jade commented.

"Eh! You mean he survived that!" Anise exclaimed in surprise.

"Like a phoenix that rises from its ashes," I mumbled softly, still in a bit of a daze.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a cockroach's relentless persistence," the colonel retorted before shifting his gaze over to me.

"Now then, I shall inspect the bridge," Jade informed the party but grabbed me by the arm to drag me along with him. I realized that his words were a lie when he stopped inside of some random, empty room, that was clearly not the bridge. Various wooden boxes were stacked on top of another and metal round barrels led me to believe this was a storage room.

I guess I should consider myself lucky for managing to get out of an interrogation by Jade up until now. I figured that I should at least make myself comfortable as I situated my body on one of the crates.

"Now, where to begin? Frankly, I don't trust you and it is only the wishes of the Fon Master that allows you to continue your farce. From a woman parading around as a man to a fake Oracle Knight, what are you goals?" Jade said coldly, like my body was dosed in icy water. I think I preferred the talk with Ion than this.

"For the record, I never claimed to be a man. You all assumed that I was one, including yourself I must say."

"You're avoiding the question at hand," he scolded, in a different tone from the one he used for Luke. This one was much more harsh.

"My will is my own and I have only acted out upon it, nothing else holds sway over me," I said defiantly, certain that there was probably a feral look in my eyes. Not anymore…I will not be anyone else's dog. This life of mine belongs to me, and no one else shall steal it from me.

I jumped down off the crate and landed onto my feet. With one final look at the colonel's crimson eyes, I walked out of the room without another word. Not anything I say will make a difference anyways…

Nobody was out on the deck when I returned to it, I leaned my body against the metal railing as I watched the waves crash against the ferry. It did not bother me since I have always been alone my entire life, inadvertedly shutting everyone else away.

"You are never alone…" Cantabile said firmly from behind me. Her appearances have ceased to catch me off guard.

"Why are you following me?"

"Because you need me," she grinned, her shiny white teeth gleaming.

"Who are you?" I narrowed my eyes in scrutiny.

"You should know the answer to that by now. My form matters not. Though, this is rather a fun disguise to play with," the Sixth Division commander chuckles at her roundabout response.

"Why can't no one else see you?"

"Does a tree make a sound when it falls in an abandoned forest?…Close your eyes for a moment," she commanded softly, her hands completely covering my eyes.

"What do you feel?" Cantabile asked and my mouth opened on its own strength as I seriously contemplated her words. Nothing, there was nothing, not even the light touch of her hands upon my face.

"…what does this mean?" I asked hesitantly, fearful of the answer I might receive.

"Haven't you wondered…? As to why nothing seems to harm you here, why your senses are dull to the world around you now?" she whispers mysteriously, eyes shining with secret knowledge.

"Yes…" I take a deep breath, almost a gasp at her ability to understand the thoughts plaguing my mind.

"Lia!" I heard another voice call out and her image flickered, like a fuzzy reception on a television screen.

"So, there's still some lingering hesitation…" Cantabile mumbles before she vanishes.

"Luke…" I said softly as I turned to face him as thoughts of Cantabile placed me into a stupor.

"You must be excited as you finally get to return home," I said cheerfully but even so, the frown I had would not vanish from my face. The Sixth Division Commander's presence had taken me off guard and now my carefully constructed mental shields were down.

"I guess," Luke shrugged, his lips turning downwards to match my expression.

"Why so sad? I thought you couldn't wait to get back," I readjusted the thick framed glasses that sat on my face.

"That's not it. What is Master Van planning?" my jaw unconsciously dropped as his blunt question sent me into shock. I inwardly winced at my brief moment of weakness, setting my lips into a thin line.

"What do you mean?" I tried to feign ignorance but his eyes narrowed, telling me that he did not buy it.

"I may not be a genius like Jade but I'm not a complete idiot as everyone thinks I am. You are Master Van's assistant and you hang around the God Generals so I doubt that you are clueless to his plans," he explained, a bit angrily. I almost corrected Luke that it was only one God General in particular but thought better of it as he probably was not in the mood for my jokes.

"How about you start by telling me what he told you on the ferry?" Luke's shoulders slumped a bit, not as tense as before, and his expression softened.

"How do you know about that?" he asked quietly in disbelief.

"Regardless, what Van promises you is lies. If you wish to be his pawn, then by all means follow him obediently but know this, you cannot change the past, no matter how much you beg or cry out to the heavens. So you best think about what you care about most because I promise you, if you let him, he will rob it from you without hesitation," I did not know if this would change Luke's mind about Akzeriuth but I had to try. Somehow, I will find a way to turn all of Van's puppets against him. Once then, maybe I will be permitted to return home.

It has been so long that I have started to forget the faces of my family and friends. The soft, kind face of my father and the gentle curves of my mother…

"Why are you crying?" Luke asks. How odd, I had not even noticed tears sliding down my face. Reaching my hand to touch my cheek, I could not sense any watery residue.

My answer was cut off by a loud bellow of the ship's horn. I presume that it meant we have arrived at our destination, the dock of Baticul.

"Are you ready?" I said to him as the bridge extended out until the end rested on top of the wooden dock. The others emerged form the lower decks and I remained silent as they silently observed me, with looks of distrust clearly displayed on their faces. I brought up the back of the group as we departed from the ship so I did not have to feel their stares.

A Kimlascan military escort was waiting, General Cecille and Commander Goldberg stood in front of a handful of ordinary soldiers.

"I am glad that you have returned safely," Goldberg greeted in a low voice.

* * *

I looked down at the small reflecting pool of water amidst the abyss of nothingness. The deep, untouchable depths of the mind, I smirked. Except for me.

Beneath the watery depths, there laid the rigid figure of her, breathless, from what I could make out in such a dim and dark landscape. I never liked this place so much.

I sent out a curious hand to reach down and touch her, as if to ascertain that she was really there. Cool water encased my arm with its soft caress.

"Don't touch her," a voice spoke and my arm immediately shot back up, taken aback by the figure that appeared. A child-like, cherubic girl, who resembles her.

"She is not ready yet," she speaks, clutching a small bunny plush in her arms.

"You are?" I demand and she replies with an irritating, high pitch giggle.

"Silly. If you don't know then I'm not telling you…isn't that what you told her?" she tilted her head as a grin spread on her face. I see…it must be…

"She's more broken than I originally thought," I said after a moment's pause.

"If that's how you see it…but it's much more than that."

"Then how do you perceive it?" I said, annoyed at this child presuming to know more than me.

"A caterpillar's journey. Yet, you seem to want to rush the process by forcing an epiphany when it is not the time…" she answered, her eyes shining with a sense of wisdom beyond her years.

"You-," I started but was instantly cut off.

"You have interfered just as much as I. If you allow her to blossom immaturely then you might as well forget about ever finding your way out of that cell you live in."

"Haven't I done enough!" I yelled at her, pulling back the sleeves of my current costume to reveal various bruises and cuts.

"You took that burden upon yourself in order to shield her and if you release her while still ignorant, then you might as well write the death wish," she answered coldly.

* * *

_A set of gorgeous Russian dolls. Open one to expose another hiding inside._

_But, until what point will the dolls run out? Nothing can be divided indefinitely._

_And who will put all the parts back together, until it becomes an unified figure once more?_

_In that moment of cohesion…you will be set free at last._


End file.
